“Stop laughing, Love. Sleep,” he says, and I can actually feel his body tense as I adjust myself in his grasp.
“Thank you,” I whisper with my eyes closed.
“For what?” Declan asks, his chest rising and lowering as he breathes.
“For coming back, and still being you,” I reply, and he holds in a chuckle. I hold on to his shirt tighter.
“I’d say I’m an improved version that doesn’t lack empathy.” That’s what Declan always struggled with. Emotions, or better, lack of most of them. For some reason, he always made an effort with Rian and me. But we’re the exception to the rule. Declan is inflexible with anyone else. No matter the age, gender or status.
“Fake empathy,” I correct him, knowing it will piss him off.
“Still empathy,” Declan says but by his pulse quickening, he’s not done. “You'd better sleep before I resort to other measures to drift you off,” it was a warning. A deadly one. For some reason, my core heats up, and I feel an adrenaline rush. I fight this feeling because maybe I’m not ready to see that side of Declan. Definitely not with the risk of anyone walking in on us.
“Good night, Dec,” I whisper, his right arm is still holding me against him. I feel guilty for leaving Maya. I feel guilty for that kiss. Yet I do not feel guilty for being able to sleep soundlessly for the first time in 4 years.
When I wake up, Declan isn’t there anymore. Heprobably went to work with Damian. We’re not two students anymore, we’re adults, with more responsibilities than normal ones can begin to imagine.
I get up and check my phone. I have a message from him.
Declan: There are pancakes in the kitchen ;)
Me: Such a gentleman!
As I reply, I move to the kitchen and see it’s 8am on the microwave. I totally forgot to check the time on my phone. I was busier thinking about something, or better, someone else.
I get the two pancakes plate and eat them as I start cleaning the living room to its normal state. When I finish eating, I clean the dishes and go upstairs to my room, quietly opening the door to see both Sammy and Maya sound asleep.
I silently go to my wardrobe, take some new clothes and my emergency daily care bag, before getting outside the room and closing the door. I feel like the perfect spy as I hear Maya lightly snore.
I go to the common bathroom, lock the door, change clothes, wash my face and brush my teeth, and get back out. When I enter the living room, Marcus and Dominik are there with Josh.
“Hey, little Kane,” Marcus says, and I wave at them. Dominik gets up and follows me outside.
“Josh told me you need some things from the store. Care to have some company?” Dominik asks as I grab my comfiest jacket from the back of the entrance door.
“Sure,” I say, feeling guilty for some reason. Dominikand I are only friends. We’ve been only friends for two years. And it was the best two years without Declan, and the only time I wasn’t mainly surviving, I was actually living and thriving.
“Hey, can I steal you for one second?” Josh asks and Dominik heads for his car to give us space. “I need to warn you about something.”
“I don’t need your warnings about Declan-”
“No, you do, and you’ll hear me or I’ll tell dad about you two and he’ll put you both on a leash.” Josh threatens, I sigh and gesture for him to keep going. “Declan wasn’t like you, Love. He didn’t wait for you; he dated someone in Caltin. A girl he’s still in touch with. A girl he considered staying there for. Declan may be your big love. But you deserve to be someone’s big love too, not a second choice. And unfortunately, that person isn’t Declan,” Josh says and walks back inside the home after briefly caressing my shoulder as a supportive gesture.
I shrug at myself unsure of how to feel. My brother is right. I deserve to be the one and only choice, not the one who stayed. That’s all I’ve been for 4 years, and I’m done being the girl that stayed, especially since that means Declan is the boy who left, partly because of me. I can’t live in fear that he’ll see me as his mother again and flee.
Chapter 3
Love
“What did Josh tell you?” Dominik asks, putting his arm around my shoulder and leading me towards his car’s passenger side.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I tell Dominik, but I do want to talk about it, just not with him. I sit down and only notice I’m crying when Dominik wipes a tear from my cheek, lowering himself over my seat.
“I don’t want to see you this way, Cherry. Please talk to me,” Dominik pleads. I see in his eyes he’s desperate for a reply, his right hand shaking against the car’s open door, his eyebrows tensing.
“Josh demystified Declan to me. And he’s right. Damn him for always being right. He got all the smart genes-”
“You aren’t less smart than him. You care for people and see their actions through your eyes. These people you think might care as deeply as you, might not. I don’tknow what he told you, but it is not your fault. If it helps, Declan would fool anyone. He’s a narcissistic psychopath who knows exactly what to say and how to act to get his way forward,” Dominik says, and I keep cleaning my face and feel so embarrassed about it. About being this way in front of Dominik again. He has been the shoulder I cry on. I need to stop burdening him with my problems. Or I’ll lose him too.
