“Please,” I reinforce, and walk out of the ice to the benches and sit on one of them. Dominik sits next to me.
“What scares you so much, Love?” Dominik asks, and I keep untying the skate laces, thinking about whether I want to respond or not. But since Dominik got out of his way for me, I feel obliged to answer him.
“You,” I reply.
“I scare you?” he asks puzzled, his hand reaches out for my arm, trying carefully to make me look at him.
“You scare me,” I admit and he’s even more confused. “On Christmas Eve, I was sure I was going to let Declan go”
“What changed?” Dominik asks and I get up and take a breath before replying.
“A conversation with my mother,” I admit.
“I see,” Dominik says getting up and starting to leave, and I’m not sure if I should follow him. “Why did youreally call me?” Dominik asks and paces down the corridor back to my side. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, it’s just I- I was never fair with you I’m sorry,” I stutter, and try to leave, but Dominik holds my wrist before I get out of his reach.
“You weren’t fair? What’s this about? Declan? You always told me he was your deal; you made it clear from the beginning. If anything, I wasn’t fair to myself.”
“Still, I led you on,” I immediately reply to Dominik, and he sweeps me in his arms. I then realise I was shaking.
“Because I let you,” Dominik says, his warm minty breath on my cheek, I hold on to him when he walks down the entry’s stairs. And I’m more and more sure I need more distance or no distance from Dominik. One or the other, there’s no in between.
“What if Declan was never the deal?” I ask Dominik, his lips press into a fine line and his jaw clenches. “Forget I asked it, we should go shopping, or we’ll be late.”
“You can’t drop the bomb and run, Love. There’s no running from me. And believe me, you should’ve run from the beginning. I was quiet because I was trying not to be someone you regret choosing-”
“I won’t,” Dominik looks at me intently, his eyes burning my every cell. He quickly unlocks the car and drops me on the passenger seat.
“You’re right, we should get the last-minute arrangements,” he says as he enters the car and closes the doors. The engine roars as he turns the ignition key. He grabs the steering wheel, strongly tapping on it with his index finger several times, like he’s trying to controlsomething. I look away when Dominik looks my way.
“Should I give you space?” I finally get the nerve to question as Dominik parks the car in the back of the mall. Dominik doesn’t respond, but his muscles tense up. “Dom, it’s fine, I’ll grab an Uber back, go home-”
I’m about to leave when Dominik holds me still in my seat by my right arm. He holds it tightly; it slightly hurts, and for some reason, that makes me tingle all over. His touch, even over layers of clothes.
“Don’t,” is all Dominik manages to say. “Remember when you asked me how I understood your brother and Declan so well?” Dominik asks, and all I manage is to nod as he looks me in the eyes. “They’re different, you said. You were stunned by how fast I caught the vibe of the whole group. I’m a quick learner and a good observer. One can identify others.”
“What I’m trying to say is, you don’t want to get too close to me. You’ve already dangerously caught my attention. Don’t make me act on it-”
“You’re not like Declan or Josh,” is all I can say before Dominik unlocks the car’s doors.
“I don’t seem to be, do I?” Dominik says and I get goosebumps, “You missed the signs because you see I care about you. Josh doesn’t have feelings, nor does Declan, right? Wrong. We have feelings, they’re just dark, hollow and world-wrecking. When Josh told you that, the last thing he wanted was for you to turn to me. Believe me, you don’t want to follow this path. It will destroy you. I don’t give warnings, Love. But I do care. I care that you have a choice to run. Even if I won’t let you go.”
“Then I don’t have a choice?” I ask him.
“When you told me you won’t regret choosing me, won’t run, you sold your soul to the devil,” Dominik says before getting out of the car. He looks at the clock on his arm and opens the door for me to get out. I get up and try to cover that I’m shaking by walking faster after him. “I won’t hurt you, Love,” Dominik says and I laugh, I’m not sure why.
“Unless I want you to, right?” I ask testing him, and by the look in his eyes as he looks back at me I made yet another poor choice.
“Don’t push,” he says and slows his pace so that I’m by his side. “What do we need to get?” Dominik says when we pass the mall’s doors.
“Sweets. Confetti. Ballons. And candles,” I add at the end. I’m really pushing it this time. I’m not sure what’s driving it, but maybe it’s the rush of adrenaline I feel in my veins.
“Candles?” Dominik asks, and I weigh if I really want to finish the provocation I started.
“If I’m selling my soul to the devil, might as well make it effective.” It was supposed to be a joke, but Dominik’s eyes darkened in a way I’ve never seen. I’m lying. I’ve seen it a few times. Mostly when boys tried to flirt with me at parties. But I’ve never seen it directed at me. My heart races so strongly I can hear it beating in my ears.
“It’s 3pm, grab the things quickly, we need to get back before Josh thinks I kidnapped you,” Dominik says, with a slight smirk on his lips at the end. “Love move please,” he says and grabs my arm. He pulls me into the party section until I’m walking on my own.
