The shuddering breath she lets out as she lies down tells me everything I need to know.
I roll and slide my arm over her.
She stiffens.
“Talk to me. What’s going on?”
Emma rolls in my arms to face me, her eyes not meeting mine. I hate when she does this—withdraws into the past. I think that’s what this is.
If Malcolm wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him.
Part of me wants to dig the bastard up and beat the shit out of him.
Emma’s so strong, but she doesn’t see that. She sees the girl who was pressured into a marriage she didn’t want—a woman that was forced to stay in it.
“It’s just …” Her voice is so soft as if she’s scared to say what she has to. It breaks my heart all over again. “I’m not used to sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t want something from me.”
Anger builds inside again, but I swallow it down. I have to. I’m not angry with her, but she’ll take it the wrong way. It’s what years of programming has done.
“Baby, you want to sleep, then that’s all we’re going to do.” I grasp her chin and raise her gaze to mine. “You don’t ever have to be afraid of saying no to me. Have you got that?”
Tears fill her eyes and she nods. “I got it.”
“I know this’ll take time, Emma. But I’ll be here in whatever capacity you want me to be in. If you just want to be friends, then I’ll do that. If you want more, then I’m right here with you.”
“You were always so sweet.”
“Don’t tell anyone that. You’ll ruin my reputation.”
She laughs as tears roll down her cheeks.
I kiss them away, and she lets out a long sigh.
“Em, I’m not sure where this is going, but I’ve got your back. If anyone from that church wants to mess with you, then they’ll also have to deal with me.”
She sniffs. “Thank you.”
“I’m just so glad you’re safe. If I’d thought for a second that you were going through what you did, I would have been there. I never forgot you.”
Emma nods. “I thought you would have been married with kids of your own.”
“I’ve always been restless. Being with you was the calmest time of my life, and I think that’s why I always thought of you as the one who got away. You know me better than anyone.” I kiss her softly on the lips. “How about we get some sleep?”
She smiles and rolls over. I spoon her from behind, placing my palm back on her stomach. I’m not one to stick around, but for her I will.
I’d move mountains for her if I could.
But for now, I’ll make do with a good night’s sleep curled up with the precious gift that’s been returned to me.
And if I have my way, I’ll never let her go.
Twenty
Emma
I’m warm.
There have been times since Malcolm died that I dreamed of him. I dreamed of the yelling, of being afraid, of him coming back and not being dead at all.
