“Fucking traitor. Can’t even let me lie to myself.”
Okay, fine, I fucking love it. But I think it’s only because it’s notmychoice. Because I’m giving something like that up to him, something I usually chase with little to no patience. Letting him decide. Giving him the power over it, overme.
Not to mention the orgasms are fucking explosive.
Still, I can pretend I hate it. Because as much as I love surrendering my body to him, I don’t love feeling weak in front of him. Defenseless. He kidnapped me twice, held me hostage, used his shadows to torture me.
None of that, ever again.
I’m already powerless to my stupid fucking feelings for him. I refuse to be powerless to everything else when it comes to him. The only time I’ll ever submit to him from here on out is if he’s giving me what I fucking want.
Not that I want him.
Felix jumps up on my desk, stares straight into my soul, and meows.
I glare back. “Let me live my life in denial.”
Glancing behind me at the camera again, my jaw tightens before I quickly look away like it doesn’t matter, likehedoesn’t matter. Like I didn’t just die thinking about him.
Denial is safer.
I’m not fucking waiting.
“Right.” I clap my hands and rub my palms together like I can reset my brain with enthusiasm. “Let’s see what we can do.”
I place my fingertips on the keycaps of my board, and that’s all it takes. The computer turns on at my touch, and the connection snaps into place instantly. I can seeeverythingbehind the screens—the operating system, the processes running in the background, the network connections branching out like veins.
1s and 0s thread through my vision. I don’t have to think about what they mean. I justknow.
My fingers twitch, and the cursor moves. Not because I touched the mouse, but because I told it to. I lean in, focusing on some locked file buried three folders deep. I don’t open it. Ibypassit. Like walking straight through a fucking wall. The file unfolds, no passwords, no barriers. Nothing.
“Holy shit,” I whisper.
I pull my hands back slowly, my heart kicking up a notch.
Apparently, I can hack anything I touch now.
Felix blinks at me.
“Don’t look at me like that. You’d absolutely abuse this power if you had thumbs.”
I drag a hand through my hair as I stare at the screens, at everything I can reach now. The Institute. Malcolm. Reese and his resistance.
Except…I don’t want to do that again.
My chest tightens, and I rest my head back and look straight up at the ceiling. “Okay, let’s not spiral. We just died. Let’s take it one existential crisis at a time.”
Felix stands, stretches, and strolls across the desk before hopping into my lap as though he’s clocking in for emotional support. With one hand, I scratch behind his ears, letting my other hand hang off the side of the chair. Electrical sparks skip across my fingers, hot and visible.
“You’re fucking mine, Reese Morgan.”
I keep my voice quiet, but it still trembles. And yet I feel stronger than I ever have. Because maybe this is finally enough. Enough to stand a chance, enough to not feel like the weakest person in the room.
I’ll always be weakforhim, but I’m done being weaktohim.
I’ll finally fucking—
There’s a buzz in the air. Something shifts, but it’s not visible, not tangible. It’s subtle, in the network, but not like in the rest of the building, not background noise or passive data flow.
