I let out a humorless breath. “I think I got whatever the equivalent is for the captor.”
“Lima syndrome.”
My gaze snaps to him. “How the fuck do you know that?”
He shrugs. “Just that smart, I guess.” Then he lifts his tablet in the air with a grin. “Also, I just looked it up.”
Despite everything, the faintest smile curves my lips. I shake my head and look away again.
“I cared about him.” But the words feel wrong in my mouth, too…small. So I try again. “I was…” My jaw tightens. “Obsessed.”
The room is silent, but I feel no judgment from my friend, only patience and space.
“That night,” I continue, my gaze going out of focus, “before everything went to shit, we talked about leaving together. Running. Disappearing across the country. Starting over somewhere no one would ever be able to touch us.”
I let out a slow breath.
And prepare to admit something for the first time out loud.
“And the thing is…I would’ve done it. In a fucking heartbeat.”
That’s the part that still surprises me. Even now. It wasn’t just make believe for me. I was ready to run away with the man I’d held captive for a month. I was willing to leave behind the infamous name I had made for myself, the one who took jobs from people who didn’t want the blood ontheirhands. I would’ve spent every last cent of the money I had made from them all on him, on making him happy for the rest of his goddamn life.
Instead, all of that was ripped away from us, and my life became not my own.
I look at Sebastian. Now that he knows, I need him toknow.
“I would’ve burned everything down and walked away fromit just to take him with me.”
There’s no shift in Sebastian’s expression, like this side of me is of absolutely no surprise to him. There’s no recalculation of who I am or what I’m capable of. There’s only acceptance.
“Can I tell you something you may not want to hear?”
“If there’s anything I can count on you for, Baz, it’s that.”
He doesn’t hesitate. “It’s okay to forgive him.”
My jaw clenches, and I look away again. “He got Ash killed.”
“He played his part, yes. But he was also Malcolm’s puppet. Just like you were at one point.”
I take a step away from the wall and face him, the muscles in my face pulling into a scowl. “Watch it.”
He only grins.
As pissed off as he knew that comment would make me, he also knows I wouldn’t hurt him. That I kind ofcan’thurt him.
I scoff. “Yeah, it’s real easy to sit there and talk your shit when you can just store up all the consequences and pull the trigger on them later.”
His grin sharpens like he was waiting for that. “You’re deflecting.”
Of course I am.
I face the window again because I can’t seem to fucking stay still. My palm presses flat against the cool glass, the chill grounding in a way nothing else is right now. I drag my other hand through my hair, exhaling hard.
“It’s not that simple,” I tell him.
“I think it is. You needed someone to blame and hurt because losing Ash was devastating. Losing all of our family was. Trust me, I getthat. You couldn’t get to Malcolm, so you went for what youcouldget your hands on. I was okay with it because I thought it was what you needed. Cason was an easy target, and maybe it sent a message to Bellrose. But, Reese…”
