Thinking of Silas or Kyle with Delaney makes me feel sick to my stomach. That’s one visual I never, ever need to have.
“And why did Helena leave in the first place?” Ethan continues. “Blackmail, maybe? Was she running from someone? And didn’t she leave a suicide note?”
His hand tightens on my shoulder in silent reassurance. I can tell he doesn’t like talking about this in front of me, but these are all questions that need to be asked.
Soraya doesn’t answer Ethan but instead glances at me. “Have you finished going through that book I loaned you?”
“Not yet,” I confess. “Though it’ll be easier if I knew what you wanted me to find.”
I can’t quite hide the irritation that permeates my tone.
“I honestly don’t know what you need to find in there,” Soraya confesses, startling me. When I gape at her, she continues, her tone soft, “I just know that the book used to belong to your mother. Apparently, she took it with her everywhere. Read it almost every day. When asked about the book, she just said she found it enlightening.”
“What?” My head spins.
That book…is my mother’s?
I know next to nothing about the woman who gave birth to me, but a part of me yearns to discover all I can. That same part feels almost guilty because Ihada mother, once upon a time. Someone who loved me unconditionally, kissed my knees when they bruised, and read me bedtime stories late at night.
My memories of my adoptive parents are fading with age, but sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can envision their faces and the soft smiles they wore when around me. I can see my dad singing while baking brownies and my mother grabbing my hands and pulling me into a dance. I’m terrified of disrespecting their memory by focusing on my birth parents.
But god help me, I want to learn everything I can about the people who brought me into this world.
“What’s so special about the book?” Ethan asks, confusion lacing his tone.
I told him and Grayson a little bit about the tome Soraya loaned me. I’ve only gotten about halfway through the book, though it’s been a few days. And while I find the content interesting, it’s certainly not something I would read over and over again.
So why did my birth mother keep it with her?
What is so important about it that she felt the need to read it wherever she went?
“I don’t know,” Soraya responds seriously. Then, softer, she adds, “I honestly don’t know anything anymore.”
Twenty-Nine
IZZY
The next few weeks are relatively uneventful. I still haven’t run into Michelle again, which is a relief, but I also don’t have any more secret rendezvous with my mates.
Soraya kicked them out of the covenstead shortly after our conversation, and I haven’t heard from them since. I’m just incredibly grateful I was able to be with them, at least for a short period of time.
Fire rushes through me at the memory of their hands on my skin, their lips tasting my own, Ethan’s cock pounding into my pussy.
And his whispered, “I love you,” a second before he thrust inside of me.
I know I didn’t say it back, but to be completely honest, I don’t knowhowI feel about him. He hurt me—all of them did—but I forgave the twins the second they shaved their hair, stripped naked, and apologized profusely to me.
So why can’t I say those words back to him? Is it because I don’t love him? Is it because I’m confused? My emotions are too turbulent to understand or articulate with words.
And don’t even get me started on Ansel…
He’s not ignoring me per se, but there’s a tension within him that hasn’t been there prior. Whenever he glances at me, he blushes and quickly looks away. I tried to ask him about it a few times, but he always makes an offhand comment about needing to figure things out. Whatever that means.
Cryptic boys.
At least today is one I’ve been looking forward to since this entire situation began—freedom.
For one weekend, I get to go home and finally, hopefully, get some answers.
