AmIthe problem?
Wretched self-loathing unfurls in my stomach like black roots slithering out and curling around my bones, threatening to crack them open.
No! You can’t think like that. This is not your fault.
“What's going on?” Teddie asks again, his voice weak but filled with growing alarm.
He pushes himself up slightly. His gaze darts between me and Caran, a furrow manifesting between his brows. He shakily wipes at a bead of sweat with the back of his hand before it can drip down his face.
“Sam is Caran's brother,” I repeat, my gaze fixed on the omega, who has begun to cry, silent tears that crystallize on his cheeks. “The same Sam who handed me over to our enemies.”
Teddie turns to Caran, his face a mask of disbelief and dawning horror. “Is it true? It can’t be true. This is just a joke, right? If it is…it’s not fucking funny. Please tell me it’s not true. Fuck, Caran. Is. It. True?”
Caran's voice is barely a whisper. “Yes.”
The single word hangs in the air, heavy as a death sentence, sucking all the oxygen from the room.
And I see the exact moment my brother’s heart breaks. Shatters. The sight will forever be indelibly tattooed on my soul. He simply…crumbles. Anguish splays across his haggard face as his shoulders slump, curling in on themselves.
“Sam befriended some Noth alphas when he was in high school,” Caran rushes to explain, his words tumbling out in a desperate cascade. “I don’t know how they met, but my brother… Well…he was always a huge people-pleaser. I suppose that’s the one drawback of being a beta. These Noths had connections, access to medicine—medicine that could help you, Teddie. The doctors here… They were doing nothing. You were getting worse every day.”
His voice cracks on the last words. “Sam told his friends, and they agreed to provide him the medication. All they wanted in exchange was information on your parents. Nothing damning, I swear. Just schedules, routines, security details…”
As he speaks, his face shatters, the handsome lines dissolving into a portrait of despair.
“But then they demanded more. Sam said they were getting desperate. He never told me… He never told me they would…” His voice breaks completely, and he finally peels his eyes off of my twin to stare at me directly. “He never told me he planned to trade you for the medicine.”
“You knew?” Teddie's voice is a choked sob, a sound of pure betrayal. “You knew Sam was a spy for the Noths, and you stillallowed him to go through with it? You fucking allowed him to take my sister?—”
“No!” Caran cries, tears streaming down his face. “I never would have agreed to that. Never! I fought with Sam when I found out what he'd done, but he said he was doing it for me, for our family. Maybe it’s because I’m an omega, and he has an innate need to look after me… I don’t fucking know. But I swear to you, I had no idea what he’d planned to do with Brylee. I never would’ve… I would’ve stopped him… I would’ve… I haven't seen him since that day. He wouldn't even look at me when I confronted him.”
I watch him, my anger warring with something else—something uncomfortably like understanding. I remember the desperation in my own heart when Teddie first fell ill, my willingness to do anything, sacrifice anything, to save him. The memory of watching him fade, his laughter turning to weak coughs, his strength ebbing away…
What would I have done if the situations were reversed? If I had the resources to procure a cure?
What if it were one of my mates? I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Teddie would go to hell and back if I asked him to, and vice versa. I suppose it’s not any different from Sam and Caran.
“Sam's dead,” I croak. My heart hammers somewhere in the vicinity of my throat. “He killed himself a few days earlier. I’m…I’m sorry.”
A sob escapes Caran's lips, raw and broken. He looks as if I've physically struck him, his body trembling with the force of his grief.
“No…” he whispers, shaking his head. Then again, louder, as if he can will the word into reality, “No!”
The acid in my stomach sluices around. Despite everything, I want to go to him, comfort him. I still love him, and seeing him like this destroys me.
And maybe he’s telling the truth.
Maybe he never knew the lengths Sam was willing to go.
He seemed sincere when he claimed that he didn’t know Sam had planned to hand me over. Was that just an act?
Right now, all I see is a broken man, a shell of someone I love, and it stabs at my brain like a flaming blade.
“I promise you, I never meant for this to happen.” Caran barely opens his mouth to speak those words.
His pain pries apart a piece of my soul, and I find myself taking an instinctive step forward before stopping myself.
I’m so, so angry.
