“What is it?” Cirian asked, his voice a whisper.
I shook my head. “It’s nothing. Just an aberrant thought.”
“Enlighten me,” Cirian insisted, holding me firmly in place. “You keep too many things bottled up in that brilliant head of yours, Bast. Let them breathe.”
“Did you just call me brilliant?”
Cirian’s chest vibrated with laughter. “You are insufferable sometimes, you know that?”
“I’m acutely aware.”
“But brilliant you are, all the same. I’ll tell you again, should you need to hear it?”
My own laughter sputtered in my throat. “I was thinking of the connection between us.”
Cirian nodded, his hand leaving my waist and resting gently on my chest. “The threads. I feel them as well. Ever since Tobias fell.”
“I want to understand them,” I continued. “Understand their purpose. But the more I try to probe into their existence, the less certain I become of their origins.”
Cirian’s brow drew downward, creasing the skin around his eyes. “Origins? Why would you need to know that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” I questioned, baffled by his insinuation. “These connections are tied back to Tobias in some way, I am certain of it. If they can help me unravel the mysteries surrounding his slumber, then there’s nothing more important to me at present.”
Another laugh from Cirian, and I stared up at him, incredulous as to what would cause such a reaction. Was he so flippant as to dismiss my concerns? Leave it to the man who sauntered through life as though troubles could never follow.
“Forgive me,” he said, removing his hand from my chest and returning it to my waist. “I don’t mean to make light of the situation. But Bast, the answer you’re seeking is staring you in the face.”
I pulled away from him, separating our limbs from their entanglement. Had he been holding back some crumb of knowledge from me these past weeks?
“Explain yourself,” I ordered, my tone far cooler than I anticipated.
Cirian ran a hand through his streaked crimson hair. “Surely, you already know it, Bast. You’ve felt that connection yourself. Perhaps you may be overcomplicating things again?”
“Am I?” I questioned, the heat behind my cheeks spiking. “Well, I’m sure someone as enlightened as yourself findsanswering such a simple question beneath you. No, the Acolyte of the Source shouldn’t have to stoop to the intellectual lows of aReviled.”
“Come now, Bast. That’s not what I meant?—”
Pressing against his chest, I shoved him away, the connection between us snapping like twine as he stumbled back. The flash of anger cooled in my gut, and I exhaled a sharp breath.
I was a fool to entertain these distractions.
“We shouldn’t keep the Cardinal waiting any longer,” I said, stepping past Cirian and toward the Cradle’s entrance. At the top of the stairs, the heavy door swung open with the lightest touch, and I stepped through the carved archway and into the cathedral proper.
Candles burned alongside the center aisle of the cathedral, lining the pathway ahead to the altar that towered in the distance. Even though the hour was late, sparse figures dotted the rows of stone benches set on either side of the aisle, offering up their wordless prayers of devotion to the Source. I wondered what comforts they must have been seeking to sit there, isolated and whispering into the darkness. Did they expect answers to fall into their laps?
If so, it was insanity on full display. Of one truth I was certain—problems were solved through effort alone. And no amount of faith would ever measure up to taking charge of one’s life.
Cirian moved behind me, the soft pad of his shoes on the polished floor the only noise to break the heavy silence. He lingered a few feet away, intuitive enough to know that I needed space. When he spoke, it was just above a whisper.
“It’s completely understandable to be upset, Bastien.”
I wished he’d stayed quiet. He waited another moment before continuing.
“You grieve for him. But you must know that you’re not alone in that grief.”
Alone.
The word echoed in my ears like the toll of a bell. Alone was exactly what I was. What I had always been. Tobias was the only one who had made me feel something more. Like I belonged. Without him, I was untethered.
