I moved for the door, passing once again through the hall and to the stairs that led to Tobias’ room. My interaction with Amelia had done little to settle the uneasy feeling in my chest, but the thought of seeing Tobias was enough to let me forget it momentarily. My tail twitched with excitement as I reached the top, twisting the handle.
Tobias’ room had remained undisturbed by the chaos of Amelia VanDoughten, with a single chair set resting by the bed made with white linen. His coppery curls were as vibrant as the last time I saw them, and the freckles along his cheekbones lightened with every passing day. I feared that soon, they would disappear completely.
Just like his sister, soft, gentle breaths caused his chest to rise and fall in a steady rhythm. It was the only evidence that he was alive.
“You’ll have to thank Lenny for getting you out of tea time,” I told him, crossing over to the chair and pulling it closer to his side. I reached for his hand, cradling it gently between my own. His skin felt cool to the touch. Too cold for someone alive, but not cold enough to belong to the dead. He must have lingered somewhere betwixt the two. Hanging in the space between life and whatever came after.
“I have to leave Paradise,” I continued, speaking to him as if he were merely resting his eyes. “Hopefully, it won’t be for long. But I fear that Bastien and Cirian have found trouble, and I have no way of knowing what I walk towards.”
The ache in my chest flared once more, as if reacting to my words, and I clung to Tobias tighter, as if he, too, would be swept up in the waves of chaos that surrounded me.
“I don’t pretend to understand this connection that you wove between us all, but I promise you that I’ll do what I must to bring them back, Tobi. For you. For us. For our future. I—” my wordscaught in my throat, and I had to force them over the lump building. “I told Kaine that I wanted to give up my title. Pass it along to someone better suited. He took it about as well as I expected. That is, not well at all. I’ve rarely seen him so upset. He’s scared, I think. Scared of what happens when we give up the fighting. It’s been our purpose since Rudderkin took us in. I worry that he’ll find it difficult adjusting to what comes next.
“I can’t honestly say it won’t be difficult for me, either. This life—this vision that I have for us, it’s something that I never saw for myself. It was this intangible dream, sheltered close to my heart. But now I’ve seen the possibility. I’ve tasted the hope that accompanied. Now, should anything happen to this dream, the crush of that disappointment may be too much to bear. I’ve already lost enough, Tobi. I refuse to add anything else to the list.
“That includes you, too. So do us all a favor and wake up already.”
A broken laugh passed over my lips, and only then did I realize I wasn’t alone any longer.
“Saying your last goodbyes?” Kaine asked, leaning against the doorframe.
“Perhaps,” I replied, not taking my eyes from Tobias. “You seem convinced that it’s a death sentence for me to go alone.”
“I don’t know a damn thing,” Kaine grumbled. “That’s what bothers me. Used to bother you, too. Now you run into danger headfirst like a child.”
“I was planning on sticking a foot in first, actually.”
Kaine didn’t laugh. When I finally managed to pull my gaze from Tobias, I found his stare waiting.
“I’m a big boy, Azrael. You don’t have to hide things from me. But if you’re going to run off, I’d like to think I at least deserve a heads up.”
“Is that what you think I’m doing?”
Kaine’s arms folded across his chest.
“It’s exactly what you’re doing, you tosser. Did you not tell me just this morning that you wanted out? Now, you leap at the first opportunity to strike out on your own. Leaves a man to ask a lot of questions.”
“I’m not looking to get myself killed, if that’s what you’re implying. Believe it or not, Kaine, I’ve never had more to live for.”
This time, he laughed. “Right. Forgive me. Now that Tobias is back in the picture, you need to make some room, is that it?”
“Watch your tongue,” I warned him, heat blooming beneath my cheeks.
“Or you’ll do what?” Kaine bucked my threat, shoving off the doorframe and crossing half the room in a single stride.
Releasing my hold on Tobias, I was out of my chair in a flash, catching Kaine with a claw to his chest and pushing him against the wall with thunderous force. A growl built in my chest as I stared down the Unseen, defiance shining in his eyes.
“There it is,” Kaine said, his voice level despite his struggle against my hold. “That’s what this is all about, huh? You’ve decided to mate with your precious Adored and turn your back on your brothers, is that it?”
“I’ve turned my back on no one,” I seethed, my fangs poking out over my bottom lip.
“Maybe that’s true now. But I can smell it on you, Azrael. The stench of resentment. Thick and bitter, like wild apple skin. You can’t wait to shed the dead weight you’ve been carrying.”
With a grunt of frustration, I released my hold of him, letting him slide down to his feet once more. “You hide behind these accusations like a child hiding from a rod.”
Kaine moved in a blur, his strike catching me off guard as the weight of him knocked me onto my back. His knee found purchase in my gut as he leaned down, fangs bared.
“I hide from nothing.”
