“I cannot go back with you to your people.” Her darkeyes were determined.
“And why not?”
“Because…I am not helpless. I can take care ofmyself.”
He fought the urge to shake her. “Andyouwill. But you don’t have to stay here to prove that. And no onewould think you are helpless just because you come back withme.”
She shrugged off his touch and backed away. “It hasbeen so long,” she murmured. “I don’t even know how to live amongpeople anymore.”
“Garth and Charlotte were people. I’m people.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Then make me understand.”
She pressed her fingers to her temples and turnedher back to him again.
“I amnotgiving up, Tess.” He approached heragain. This time he took her hand in his and held it until sheturned to him. “Make me understand.”
Silence hung in the room like the mists over LochNess. Colin didn’t let go of her—but didn’t speak either—as herstruggles inside showed plainly on her face.
“We belong toplaces, Colin,” she finallycried out. “You belong to…to Benmore Castle. I belong…”
“Don’t start that again.” The words spewed out moreharshly than he’d intended. “People move to new places and fashionnew lives for themselves all the time.”
“But these people have someone they can go to…ortravel with. They arenottotally alone.” She tugged herhand free and wrapped her arms tightly around her middle. “I haveno one, Colin.No one. And I am dreadfully afraid of losingwhat I have here. As perilous as living on the May seems to you,‘tis all I have.”
She hastily moved to the ladder leading up to theloft area above. He watched in silence as she climbed the rungs anddisappeared.
He turned and looked into the fire, fighting theurge to go after her.
By the devil, he’d only just finished at theuniversity. Now was the time for him to live recklessly. To pursuehis dreams of sailing the high seas. To live the life of a pirate.To take what he wanted. When he wanted. This was his time to have ahundred women in a hundred ports…without a whit of worry orregret.
At the same time, another voice argued, he had madea choice less than an hour ago not to leave this island when he’dhad the opportunity. He’d chosen not to leave without Tess. By St.Andrew,everythingwas becoming too complicated.
Colin quickly realized that his own confusion was aseparate battle—one that he would need to fight some other time. Heclimbed the ladder after her. Reaching the top, he found hersitting cross-legged beside the old sea chest—the same one he’dopened the last time he came up here. She had the top open, and shewas touching something inside.
“This is where I might be able to help you,” he saidreassuringly. “Perhaps you are not as alone as you think! It may bethat there are people out there who are kin to you. I mean, perhapsif you could at least tell me when it was that you came to Isle ofMay, then I can…”
“Six.” Her attention was completely focused onsomething she was holding in her hand. “I was six years old.”
Colin saw her lift a child’s dress from the chestand lay it in her lap. He remembered the one he had found in amending pile downstairs. She took out the cap next, then the shoes.And then he saw her take out the jeweled cross. She stared down atit.
“There was a shipwreck. I don’t know if there wereany other survivors. But I was the only one who washed ashore hereon the May.”
He came nearer and knelt down on the floor next toher. “Were your parents in the same shipwreck?”
“I wish I knew.” She hastily stabbed at her tears.“There are so few things that I remember from before coming here.My name, my age—those I recall. Everything else, though, is hiddenin a thick fog.”
“But there are things that you do remember. Lastnight when I was playing music for you, the songs tickled somethingin your memory. You had heard that music before.”
“Aye. Sometimes there are recollections that rushback to me. Faces that I cannot put a name to, or places that Icannot identify. Then there are other times when my mind brings ascene into life and I feel myself watching it. ‘Tis like a dream,as if I’m on the outside of it, looking in. But then it becomes amuddle again, and none of it makes any sense.” Her voice quivered.“And then, there are the nightmares. There is one in particularthat comes back over and over.”
Colin held her hand tightly. “Can you tell me aboutit?”
He saw her chin tremble, and then she took a deepbreath. “’Tis always night. There are loud noises, all aroundme…like people screaming. And I see a wee lass running scared.There are dark stains on her nightgown, on her hands and feet. Sheis clutching something in her hand. And there are footsteps behindher. Someone is about to catch her. And then she comes face to facewith a wall of fire. There is no place else to go. And thefootsteps are right behind her. I always wake up then. And my chestis pounding. And I am sobbing.”
Tess’s voice broke, and Colin pulled her againsthim. She came willingly. As she started crying softly against hischest, he found he had to swallow the knot that had formed in histhroat.
