Tori
Chapter 15
The one serious piece of dating advice that Grace had impressed upon me time and time again during high school was that the only way to know for sure that your feelings for someone were real—and not just a passing crush, or a fit of lust-at-first-sight—was to kiss them. The kiss would tell you everything.
If she was right, then I was in deep trouble.
Glancing in the mirror as I brushed my teeth the next morning, I could see how swollen my lips still were. My mouth felt like a bruise, still tender from the intense, unrelenting kiss I’d shared with Stefan. It was a kiss I had spent most of the night alternately cursing and craving.
He was the first thing I’d thought of when I had opened my eyes that morning. I hated myself for wanting him as badly as I did. I hated the way his touch, rough and self-assured and just barely under control, had gotten me so hot. I hated that even though I was furious at him, I still wanted him to carry me off to bed and torment my entire body, the same way he had tormented my mouth. But the worst part was, it wasn’t just lust. That kiss had hit me like a lightning bolt. I realized I had developed real, undeniable, honest-to-god feelings for him.
It was time to send Grace an international cry for help.
We might have had a pretty surface-level friendship, but even though our hangouts had been solely for the purpose of studying, she’d always treated me the same as all her other friends—despite the fact that my father’s rules and curfews kept me from joining them when they’d hang out. And come Monday morning at school, Grace would catch me up on all their antics: at the movies in the city, or with hot guys at the mall, or while joyriding around Springfield in Grace’s cute little Bentley. She’d always acted like I was part of the group. She was the kind of girl who treated everyone like her best friend.
Budapest was seven hours ahead of Chicago, so that meant it was around 1:30 am for Grace. Knowing what her weekend schedule usually looked like, I would bet that she was still wide awake.
Even though Stefan was working in the next room, I glanced around the room just to be sure there was nobody around before I picked up my phone and started to type.
Hypothetical question: I texted.Let’s say there’s this girl. Who really wants to sleep with this guy. And she knows it should have already happened by now, but it hasn’t. And she doesn’t have a lot of experience with that kind of thing yet.
MM-HMMM, she texted back almost immediately, adding an emoji with a suggestive expression.Do go on…
So they’ve fooled around a few times, I wrote, trying to organize my thoughts.But.
I’d felt how hard his cock was through his pants last night. There was something about Stefan that made me feel desperate, hungry for him—but I clearly wasn’t alone in this desire. He’d been just as turned on as I was.
Even though it’s -obvious- that he wants her badly and chemistry isn’t the problem,I concluded my text,they still haven’t gone all the way yet.
Grace wrote back,Yes yes, and your question is? Hypothetically speaking?
I felt my face go hot as I typed,Why does he keep stopping right as it starts to get good?
I waited for her response, getting nothing, and was relieved when I could finally see the dots popping up that meant she was tapping out her reply.
Did this girl call him her ex’s name by mistake? Bc if so, I’ve been there. Mega turn-off.
This girl has no exes, I replied.
Did this girl maybe start crying or otherwise get very emotional in the middle of things? Known to be a common killer of boners.
I’d been emotional, yes, but he’d kissed me despite my anger, not been turned off by it. And was I crying? Nope. I typed back,That wasn’t it.
I watched Grace’s ellipses appear and then stop and then come back again. Finally, a long text popped up on my screen. It was a whole paragraph.
To be honest, Tori, and this is just hypothetical of course, I’m guessing that this boy…who might have initially been attracted to this girl partly *because* of her inexperience…is having some cold feet when it comes down to actually doing the deed.
I nodded as I read along.
It continued,BUT in my opinion, and experience, I have to honestly say— it will get better. I saw the way he looked at you at the wedding, and that man had eyes for no one else. If he’s acting like he wants you it’s because he DOES. And if the sex hasn’t happened yet, it’s probably because he’s all torn up about how virginal you are and is afraid he’ll ruin your first time. I know this all sounds crazy, but don’t be afraid to push his buttons. Sometimes men need a little extra persuading to get the job done.
Everything she was saying made perfect sense. Relief was starting to wash over me.
PS!A fresh text had popped up.Make sure he knows how EXCITED you are for him to storm the castle—here she inserted a winking-faced emoji—I mean, make sure this girl knows to make sure that this boy knows that this girl is waiting for him to…etc, you get the point.
I sent back athank you!!!and three emoji hearts, and then put my phone down. I felt a lot better already.
I dialed down to room service and asked them to bring me up a tray of coffee, fruit, and a selection of local pastries, and then climbed back into the cloud-like bed to mull things over.
