“I thought you were dead,” I told her.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just—”
“I don’t wantapologies,” I interrupted harshly. “I wantanswers.”
Anja looked startled. She said, “Okay,” so softly I could barely hear her and then cleared her throat. “The thing is…I was trapped in the world of KZM. The modeling, and the…other work. I’d been trying to figure out how to leave for a while. Get out of the business for good. But there was never a way out. So when I found out I was pregnant…it was my one chance. I went to your father to tell him, figuring he’d fire me on the spot. But he helped me get away. Start fresh.”
“He gave you money,” I said flatly. “To disappear.”
She nodded her confirmation. “The choice was mine, though. Iwantedto go. I never told him the baby was yours but…I thought he knew, and that was why he let me go. To hide it. And then the way he’s supported us over the years—I figured it was because Max is his grandson.”
The way Anja was talking now, unspooling the facts one at a time, it was almost like listening to a robot. I wondered how many times she’d imagined telling me the truth like this, if she was operating on autopilot now, or if maybe she was just disassociating from the difficulty of the moment between us and refusing to let her emotions leak through.
I took the glass back from her and gulped down the burning liquid.
“He didn’t just give you money to leave?” I asked, her words still echoing in my mind. “He kept on paying you to stay away, to hide from me?”
“It wasn’t like that.” Anja looked down. “He sent monthly payments, enough for us to live on, but he supported me in other ways. Before I left Chicago he helped me get a new US identity. Social security number, birth certificate, new name, everything I needed to start over. I was glad for the change. The privacy. Nobody would ever know I was Anja Borjan the model.”
I nodded, finally lowering myself into the chair across from her. “So all this time I’ve been searching the world for you, and you’ve been here in the US. Not dead. Not kidnapped. Not suffering at all.” I forced myself to keep my voice calm. “And my father knew about the—knew about Max—the entire time. For eight years. Nobody thought I needed this information.”
We locked eyes, and I could see the tears glistening in hers.
She’d been right here all along. Probably right under my nose. Knowing my father, he would have kept her as close as possible, so he could keep an eye on her and Max.
I clenched my hands into fists. He’d known about the kid—that I was a father—right from the beginning, and he’d never said a word. If I hadn’t hated him already, this would have pushed me over the edge. And now that I knew he and Anja had worked together to conspire against me, it was hard to believe anything my former flame was saying.
“I know it wasn’t right to keep the pregnancy a secret,” Anja admitted. “But you were in school.”
“What about later? I wasn’t in school for a decade,” I shot back. “In fact, once I’d started working, I would have been even better able to take care of you. Both of you.”
Anja shook her head. “I knew you got a job with KZM right out of your MBA program—your father told me all about it—and you were building a life, a career. The last thing you needed was a baby to take care of. But finding out you worked for your father? That was one more reason to stay away.” She shot me a glare, getting just as worked up as I was. “Do you seriously think I’d go back to you, when you were tied up with all the corruption and the lies? How could you? I would never want to raise a child with someone like that—”
“But you were happy enough to take the company handouts, weren’t you?” I said, cutting her off.
“That’s not fair!” she yelled. “I did what I had to do for my kid. And I’d do it all again if I had to. He was safe with me, and cared for, and I was able to provide him everything he needed. I love my son, and I won’t apologize for anything I’ve had to do to support him.”
It was ironic. The whole reason I’d gone to work for my father—the reason I’d thrown myself into the business in the first place—was because of her. Because I needed the resources my father had, the money, the connections, in order tofindher. And now she was telling me it was part of the reason she’d kept herself hidden from me.
I wished I could tell Anja all about how I planned to dismantle the trafficking ring once I was in control. But I didn’t trust her. Especially now that I knew how much she owed my father.
“Fine,” I said, rubbing my temples. “I don’t agree with any of this, but I won’t say I don’t respect your choices. It’s obvious you made some very hard decisions. And I’m sure you’ve been…a wonderful mother.” It was true. She’d always had that warm, maternal quality. I’d seen it, experienced it firsthand myself. “But I still don’t understand. Why did you come back now?”
Anja got up from the couch and knelt in front of me. She took my hand, looking up at me again with that pleading expression. My jaw was clenched, and I met her gaze coldly. I couldn’t deny the heat that stirred between us, regardless of all these years that had passed, but even if I wasn’t in love with Tori, and committed to my marriage, I still wouldn’t ever touch Anja again. She’d betrayed me in the worst possible ways. I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive her.
“I have felt guilty about what I did every single day for the past eight years,” she said. “I just couldn’t do it anymore. Couldn’t let you go on any longer not knowing about me, or your son.” She took a breath, her eyes searching the room as if it would give her the right words. “Raising Max as a single mother is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But also the best thing, and the thing I’m most proud of. I know you’re angry, and that’s okay. Just don’t be angry at Max.”
“Fuck.” I pulled my hand away from her and got up, pacing to the window again.
Had she expected me to just fall at her feet, grateful that she was back, asking no questions, accepting her and her child without hesitation?
Everyone around me was manipulating me. I hated the way Anja had chosen to handle everything, from the pregnancy to the disappearance to the way she’d decided to just show up now out of the blue. And I hated the way my father was involved—had always been involved. Taking joy in pulling all my strings, like I was nothing more than a puppet for him to play with.
He wasn’t standing in front of me right now, though. Anja was. I spun around, furious.
“What the hell am I supposed to do about this kid?” I said. “I can’t just magically be a father without any notice. Does he know who I am? Does he know anything about me? Did you spend the last seven years telling him his father was a bad man? Or that I’m dead?”
Anja blinked back tears and shook her head. “I’ve always told him I didn’t know who his father was. He’s accepted it. But I understand how you must be feeling and I—I’m not going to tell Max anything until you decide what you want to do. If you want a role in your son’s life.”
