We discussed the images for the rest of our session, working together to find ways to improve upon something that was already practically perfect. I was so proud of the work, and eager to see what she would come up with for the next assignment, which was to photograph a place that was meaningful to her. I knew she’d do something completely unexpected.
Galina never failed to surprise me. Not just with her work, but the thoughtfulness with which she composed her shots and the metaphorical meanings they contained. She always spoke so eloquently about her intentions, and her words about sex and sensuality stuck with me all day, through the rest of my classes, and even through my ride home that afternoon.
Even when I got back to my apartment and took Munchkin for his walk around the neighborhood, I found that I was still thinking about what Galina had said. How her past experiences with sex hadn’t destroy her sexuality or desire for pleasure. How for her, it was about choice.
Her words kept turning over in my head, even after I decided against ordering take-out and poured myself a glass of wine. I couldn’t stop thinking about her photographs and her explanation behind them. Even when I curled up on my couch and tried to read the new Mapplethorpe biography, I found that my mind kept wandering back to sex. Sex and choice.
I hadn’t really thought about it in that way. And now I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Couldn’t stop thinking about the choice that I had.
Finally, I gave up pretending that I could focus on anything but the idea that I was going to choose for myself as well.
I wanted Ford.
And despite everything that had happened between us with the fake engagement, I trusted him. I also knew that he knew exactly what he was doing, exactly how to give me pleasure. I knew he would make it feel good for me.
He was going to be my first.
It was my choice.
Not that he needed to know that it would be my first time. He just needed to want me back. Which I was confident that he did.
Decision firmly made, I took out my phone and texted Ford.Dinner tonight? Just the two of us. Pick someplace you love.
He responded quickly, probably seeing this as his chance to make amends for the surprise proposal fiasco.
As my lady requests, he texted.I also have some ideas about how to secure additional funding for your charity, if you’re interested.
I almost asked him to come over right on the spot. Nothing was hotter to me than Ford offering to help with my charity. Instead, I just said I would see him soon and leaned back against the couch cushions, preparing for my last several hours as a virgin.
Emzee
Chapter 20
Everest, the world-renowned French restaurant in the Chicago Stock Exchange, had one of the most beautiful views in the city. We were treated like royalty there, which I suppose wasn’t too far from reality; the Malones were revered by locals in the know. The fact that Ford had managed to secure us a table on such short notice proved exactly how well-respected his family was.
Chicago glittered below us as we dined on a menu of flawless dishes that were an instant aphrodisiac for a foodie like me: perfectly seared sea scallops, fresh Maine lobster with smoked bacon and maize bisque, Caspian Sea caviar, carnaroli risotto with forest mushrooms. Each plate came with its own pairing of wine, so by the time our dessert of decadent caramel tarte tatin came around, I was feeling warm and relaxed and happy.
Ford had gone all out. Beyond the meal, his undivided attention was focused on me the entire time. We barely talked about our fake engagement, or the increasingly stressful upcoming wedding—instead, it was like old times. He had me get him up to speed on See Yourself, and I spent some time describing the classes I’d taught earlier that day. Then he filled me in on his fundraising ideas and offered to pass around some of my students’ resumes at the Malone Real Estate Holdings office, since his company regularly hired photographers to shoot new property listings. We discussed Tori and Brooklyn and my upcoming position as Auntie Em and gushed about how much we both still loved our hometown of Chicago, all while perched above its sparkling beauty, enjoying some of the best food the city had to offer.
It was magical.
We stayed at the restaurant until closing, and then, instead of taking a car back to my apartment, Ford suggested we walk the mile and a half since the weather was so mild.
Even though I had no intention of letting the date end when we got to my front door, I was enjoying our night out together and happy to walk off some of my fullness. By the time we reached my block, most of the tipsy feeling from the wine had faded. I was clearheaded, and as resolute as ever about my decision to invite Ford upstairs.
Even still, as we walked up the pathway to my building’s entry doors, I was buzzing from the inside with anticipation. My hands were shaking a little, but I smoothed them down the front of my dress to hide my trembling. I was wearing a simple black sheath that clung to my curves, and had opted for a pair of sequined black designer flats for our date, which meant the top of my head barely reached Ford’s biceps as we walked side by side. Still, I was glad I hadn’t gone for the stilettos I’d been debating, or our walk home would have been a lot less fun.
“Come up,” I told Ford when we got inside the lobby.
There was a question in his eyes, but he didn’t verbalize it. My request wasn’t that unusual—we’d gone out to plenty of dinners that were followed by drinks at my place—though the late hour was a bit out of the ordinary, as were the distinctly date-like vibes of the evening.
We were both silent as we rode the elevator up to my loft, and the whole car seemed to crackle with tension, though I couldn’t tell if it was mutual or just me imagining things.
The second we stepped into my loft, Munchkin greeted Ford by running around him in circles, panting excitedly. It seemed that we were in agreement about Ford staying the night.
I just wished I knew how to proceed.
Ford sat on the bench in the kitchen area, leaning down to scratch Munchkin as I poured us two glasses of water.
