He helps me to my feet, supports me all the way to the bathroom, and then turns on the water. I get in first and Nate promptly follows. He soaps his hands and lathers them over my body, seeming to know just where I’m sore.
Spinning to face him, I take the soap from him and begin returning the favor. “Are you in a better mood now?”
God, I love the feel of his body beneath my hands. One corner of his mouth tugs up. It’s all the answer I get.
Later, lying in his bed, I’m amazed at how quickly he falls asleep with one arm behind his head and the covers barely pulled over his hips. I cover us both and turn onto my side with his body right behind me, his heat so comforting against my bare skin.
If I’m not careful, I could get very used to this. I have to remind myself that once Eliza is gone, so am I. Back to my little apartment.
Alone.
But not today. Not now.
And then I roll the other way to lie close to his side and enjoy every moment of this that I can.
27
PIPER-LILY
It's easierto feel slightly less guilty about eating a triple scoop of dark chocolate gelato when you're doing it with a friend.
Eliza is already halfway through her stracciatella before we even leave the Italian bakery at Eataly in the Flatiron District. I carry a cloth market bag filled with freshly made cannoli, an assortment of pastries with various fillings, a tub of Castelvetrano olives, caprese skewers, and a loaf of Italian bread. Our plan is to put ourselves into a carb coma while watchingGilmore Girlslater tonight. We decided it’s a total girls’ night and Nate would be horrified if we invited him to join us.
"That's a good color on you." Eliza gestures to my hand.
We got manicures a couple of hours ago, and I chose a beautiful shade of plum with a high-gloss finish. It's not something I would normally choose, but I was feeling a little extra. The nail tech asked if I wanted gems on my thumbnails and I agreed. After last night, I definitely feel like a different woman. One that would wear a vibrantcolor on her nails and eat whatever she wanted. I feel…freer. Like something deep inside me that was locked away is now out and ready to explore.
"Thanks. I really like it."
I don't know what to do about Nate. A web of inconvenient feelings is knitting inside me, and every time we’re together intimately, they grow stronger. I understand that we’re only pretending, but I honestly don't feel like we are. And maybe that's my mistake. One that I'll pay for when my emotions are incinerated after he rejects any notion that what we have just might be real.
"Shoe store next?" Eliza asks, interrupting my thoughts.
"Yes, let's go!"
It's a gorgeously clear, sunny day. Perfect for walking around the city and popping into all the best stores. We’ve been in and out of so many boutiques that I can't keep count of them all. I’m not even buying much, but I feel incredibly spoiled. An all-day shopping excursion has obviously been off the table ever since my father lost all of our money.
When Eliza first suggested it at dinner last night, I was noncommittal, because I wasn't sure how I would fund such an adventure. But then this morning Nate handed me a wad of cash before he left for work and told me not to spend it all in one place.
The stack of bills was so thick, I could barely fit it in my wallet. I had to stuff some inside the zippered compartment in my purse. I'm not sure I've ever carried so much cash around. Plastic has always been my go-to. There’s a strange vulnerability in carrying money that’s not yours. Maybebecause I keep wondering if he’s going to make me pay it back.
A delighted little thrill blossoms in my belly at the thought. So far, I’ve really enjoyed all the ways he's made me pay. Last night was no exception, even though I’m still a little sore. What Nate and I did was…incredible. It wasn’t just about the physical connection, either. It felt like so much more. And we were both well aware that it was the one way that he and I could be fully intimate without sacrificing my valuable virgin status.
Unless it didn’t mean that much to him. Am I just projecting? Maybe he does that kind of thing all the time. I’m obviously not the first girl he’s done it to.
I quickly quash my sour emotions before they can take over. I don't want to ruin this fun day with my new friend.
Eliza’s cell phone chimes with an incoming call, but she silences it. She checked her phone the first couple times it rang earlier today but tucked the device back into her purse quickly. At first I thought it had to be her mother, but then I noticed her giving me a subtle side-eye, like she was trying to see whether I looked at the screen. I didn't, but now I'm curious. I don't think she'd react that way if it was just her mom. In fact, she hasn’t mentioned her mother today at all.
Someone has Eliza flustered, but I don't know her well enough to ask who it is.
Standing outside the shoe store, we giggle as we hurriedly finish our gelato and toss the paper cups in the trash. I dig a package of wet wipes from my purse and hand her one.
She arches a brow. "Little Rosie's wet wipes? Do you secretly have a toddler?"
I laugh. "Close, but not quite. I actually teach ballet to a bunch of five-through-ten-year-olds. You might be surprised and disgusted by the things I carry in my purse in the line of duty."
Her eyes grow wide and flicker with sudden excitement. I remember what Nate said about his sister always wanting to take dance lessons.
