Tears glimmer in her eyes. She doesn’t let them fall.
Swallowing hard, I fist my hands as my brain throws a million things at me. Make her stay. Let her go. End this now before it gets worse. But the prevailing voice doesn’t want her to go. The contract she signed is her prison until the printed term next to her signature says her obligation is over. And it’s not over.
Not even close.
She tries to brush past me again. I grab her arm. Her hair whips my face as she spins, her eyes furious as a few tears streak down her beautiful face.
“I’m the only law you need to worry about. If you walk away now, I’ll make sure your reputation is ruined. Completely, utterly, irrevocably ruined. Not even a penniless man would marry you when I’m done. What will happen to Nana then, Piper?”
Her face pales, her chest heaving. I’m crossing a line and I know it, but I can’t stop. She’s making me crazy. I’m making myself crazy.
Is this what love does to you? Fuck that. I don’t want it. Why would anyone want to feel like this?
“You wouldn’t dare,” she hisses.
“Oh, I would. I know things about you. What a dirty girl you are. The things you whisper in the dark while I’m making you come. People will believe whatever I tell them about you. You’re already in a vulnerable position and you know how sharks love the scent of blood in the water.”
Ripping herself from my grip, Piper wipes at her face with both hands and steps away from me. Go ahead, back up. Keep going. As long as you stay inside these four walls.
“I can’t believe you,” she says, shaking her head.
“Why not? Who did you think I was, Piper? This is business, not Love Island.”
“Fuck you! You don’t know everything. You can’t even see what’s right in your face.”
Running to the door, she flings it open and then slams it behind her. A moment of panic nearly prompts me to chase after her, but I know she’s not going anywhere. There’s no way she’ll walk away from the contract, not if she’s as concerned about her grandmother as she says she is.
God, I hate myself. Digging my hands through my hair, I circle the room, trying to get a grip on myself. There’s no way Piper won’t hate me after this. Which is fine. Good. Mission accomplished. Now I just need to go set that auction date and get the ball rolling.
Grabbing the sheet from the floor where Piper dropped it, I stop sharply at the sight of a streak of pinkish red staining the fabric. My stomach bottoms out. Fuck. What kind of asshole am I?
I go downstairs and lock myself in my office, but not before I notice the absolute silence inside my house. Piper must have gone to the apartment. Fine, but she’s not stayingthere. The flash of blood replays in my mind again. Wincing, I drop into my office chair and look out the window into the darkness. There’s no sense in lying to myself. I won’t be able to stop fucking her if she stays in my bed.
This auction can’t come soon enough.
Flipping open my laptop, I browse the upcoming auction schedule to see when the next available slot is. The soonest I can find isn’t until mid-February, which is only a few weeks earlier than I had originally planned, but that’s fine. I’ll use the next few months to vet all her potential bidders and stir up as much interest in her as possible. This is for the best. For both of us.
What kind of asshole am I, indeed.
The kind that needs to destroy any feelings she has for me before I hand her off to another man. Maybe if her feelings die, mine will too, and letting her go won’t hurt.
At least, not as much.
33
PIPER-LILY
It’sNew Year’s Eve.
It’s hard to believe how much time has passed since Nate and I had our not-breakup. For the last six weeks, things between us have been formal, cold, tense. I’ve hated every second of it.
Christmas came and went before I was ready. Normally I’m organized and like to purchase gifts well ahead of the holiday, but not this year. I ended up buying presents two days before the big day. Thankfully, Nate and I formally agreed not to buy each other anything, though I was still a little disappointed when we didn’t even see each other for coffee on Christmas morning before I left to go to my mom’s place.
I’m basically just floating through my days without much thought or awareness. The only time I’m fully present in the moment is when I’m teaching dance. Thank God the studio offered me my position back. It was the only enjoyable thing in my life before, and it’s a lifeline now that Nate and I mostly just ignore each other.
I moved back into the apartment after our big fight, and he never said a word about it. Oh, he played the loving boyfriend over the holidays, of course, but as soon as our public appearances were over, he disappeared. I didn’t ask him to attend any family events with me, nor was I invited to his family gatherings, so we mostly spent the holidays apart. Except for the dinner parties and charity events that populate everyone’s social calendars around this time of year, we barely saw each other. That’s been oddly okay with me.
Unfortunately, I’m still in love with him. It’s not easy to accept or to deal with, especially since I know my feelings aren’t reciprocated. But I’m determined to make peace with how I feel about him. It hurts. Very much. But I’m going to get through it. One day at a time.
