No more camping outside her building. No more desperate voicemails. No more pathetic attempts at groveling. I need a solid plan.
Areallygrand gesture.
And I need it to work. Because I can’t lose her.
Iwon’t.
CHAPTER 35
ADRIANA
Sleep hasn't comeeasy since I left him.
I tell myself it's stress. The Kozlov negotiations. My father's recovery. Running two empires at once.
But at three o’clock in the morning when I'm staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, it's not business keeping me awake. It's the memory of Lochlan’s hands on my skin. His voice in my ear. The way he looked at me like I was the center of his world.
I drag myself out of bed and start preparing for today's negotiation session with Ronan and Alexei.
If I stay busy enough, maybe I'll stop thinking about him.
It hasn't worked yet, but I guess hope springs eternal.
After all of my company business is finished, I spend twenty minutes getting dressed for the meeting that will determine the future of my family. I should be thinking about distribution routes and territorial boundaries, logistics that will protect our power and control.
Instead, I’m thinking about Lochlan. As always.
I grit my teeth and sweep my hair into a tight, no-nonsense bun at the nape of my neck.
His face, pinched with anguish, was branded into mymemory the second he ambushed me outside my parents’ house yesterday. I still hear the desperation in his voice when he called my name. And the way he fought against my security, trying to get to me, like he’d tear through anyone who stood in his way… I can’t lie. It still gives me chills.
My own voice loops through my tormented mind. It was cold and flat, completely emotionless as I told him to go home even though everything in me wanted to scream and beg him to stay.
And then the last thing I saw before I turned my back and walked inside?—
I clutch the sides of my head. No, I can’t think of the tortured look on his face again.
Stop it. He lied to you. He watched your father almost die and said nothing. You don’t owe him anything.
But telling him I never wanted to see him again?
That broke something in me, something I’m not sure can ever be fixed.
I don’t let myself think about why. It’s easier to just be angry. It’s easier to remind myself of all the people who’ve lied to me, and God knows, there are plenty. Vincenzo, Eamon, Riccardo in his own pathetic way. Lochlan is just another name on a long list of people I shouldn’t have trusted.
Being cold is the only thing that makes me feel strong right now. And I need strength going into this meeting.
But my God, I miss him so much. I miss Reaper padding after me from room to room. I miss waking up to the smell of breakfast and the sound of Lochlan humming off-key in the kitchen. I miss the feel of him in the bed beside me, the way he’d pull me against his chest in his sleep, his familiar cologned scent.
I miss the life we were building together, even if it was built on lies.
I roll my eyes at my reflection. Pathetic. I’m pathetic.
With an impatient sigh, I grab a black dress off a hanger. Simple and understated, it’s my professional armor. Nobody willcrack through it. Nobody will know how close to crumbling I am just below the surface.
The CEO mask is firmly in place when I walk to my car. And I will never again show anyone what really lies underneath.
I arranged to meet Alexei and Ronan at a restaurant in the Seaport. It’s well after noon, so the lunch crowd and any prying eyes have cleared out by the time I arrive… fifteen minutes early. I settle into the chair at the head of the table and position my security on opposite sides of the front entrance.
