“But if you find it, I won’t have to watch you watch it.”
“Come on, be a good girl and show me.”
“Fine.” I take his phone, open YouTube, and find the video. I hand it back to him and cover my face with my hands. A few seconds later, the first chords of “Cannibal” fill the room.
He laughs.
“Shut up!” I screech. “Stop laughing.”
“Sorry, sorry,” he says, but his voice is rife with amusement. A few moments later, he says, “The popcorn is a nice touch.”
“No commentary.” After what feels like an eternity, the song stops and the room goes silent. I peek out from behind my palms. “I know, I know. It’s horrible.”
He puts the phone back in its spot. “Your look of horror is priceless.”
“I went into a fugue state. I don’t even remember deciding how to act—it was a blur.”
“My favorite part was when you knocked the ring from his hands and it went skidding along the bleachers.” His chest shakes from repressing his laughter. “And everyone chased after it.”
I sniff. “I really hate you, Charlie.”
“I know you do.” He leans back in his chair and crooks a finger at me. “Come here.”
My head tells me to resist him, but too many of my other body parts disagree. I still make a show of rolling my eyes and huffing over to him. I don’t want him getting complacent.
He tugs me into his lap, pulling me close. “The guy is clearly an idiot.”
I sigh and, to my disgust, find myself snuggling into him. “Despite evidence to the contrary, I swear to god I was clear. He just didn’t get the message.”
He tilts my chin and peers into my eyes. “Jessica, you understand that doesn’t matter, right?”
My heart quickens, like I’ve inadvertently revealed something I didn’t mean to. “Of course. I’m merely explaining I didn’t lead him on. That I told him our relationship was casual.”
He tightens his fingers on my jaw so I can’t look away. “I don’t give a fuck if you begged him to marry you the day before, you didn’t owe him a yes.”
The forced vulnerability stirs my near-insatiable desire. Throat tight, I can feel my chin quiver, but I manage to nod.
He releases my jaw before tucking me in close. “You still feel bad.”
“Not about him,” I squeak, burying my face in the crook of his neck. “He disregarded my feelings, but I’m the bad guy for saying no and breaking his heart. I paid the price, not him. In the end, everyone blamed me. Even my family blamed me.”
He frowns. “Did you ask them specifically, or are you assuming?”
Muffled against his warm skin, I say, “I was lazy and apathetic about ending our relationship.”
“Even so, it’s not your fault.” He rubs my back in slow, steady circles, and when my muscles start to unclench, he says, “He manipulated you.”
This catches my attention. “What do you mean?”
“Anyone who knows the slightest thing about you would never plan a jumbotron proposal. That’s ridiculous. He probably saw you slipping away and decided to shoot his shot in a way that made it hard for you to say no.”
“I…I hadn’t thought about it like that before.” My heart takes a precarious leap. This has to wear off, right? This weird, giddy, soft, tinkling happiness.
He gives me a little squeeze. “Another indicator he didn’t know shit about you.”
I trail a path down his forearm, tracing the veins. “How do you know so much about me? Most of our time has been spent having sex.”
His gaze darkens on me. “Is that true?”
