Not sure where he’s leading, I answer carefully. “It was great.”
I can make out a flicker in his dark eyes. “Ryder always says his biggest complaint was there was nothing to complain about.”
I scooch a bit closer, not wanting to scare him off. “My parents ran our house as a collective instead of a hierarchy. They were big on communication and discussing problems. To them, the ability to listen and change your mind was a life skill. That questioning what you were told was more important than obeying.”
“Is that where you get your sassy attitude?” The muscles in his shoulders ripple as he seems to relax a little.
“My father told me I should be a lawyer for the first time when I was six and pleaded my case as to why I was mature enough for a sleepover at Mimi Casper’s house.”
“Did you get to go?”
“What do you think?” I flutter my lashes.
“Is that why you became a lawyer?”
I let him divert, not sure if he’ll come back, accepting he probably won’t. “It’s hard to say. Maybe? I do love to make a point.”
He turns his head back, shielding his expression from me. He’s silent for a few moments. “It must have been nice, to have a home that was safe and secure.”
My voice is soft when I speak. “I was very, very lucky.”
“I can tell by how close you are.”
“My family is my safe space.” Even if Ryder hadn’t warned me, I can tell how hard talking about himself is from Charlie’s body language. I understand what it means that he’s struggling through his emotions to strengthen his relationship to me. He might not be able to articulate it, but he’s showing me he’s invested in what happens between us.
Maybe I can help by being that safe place. I take the risk and trust that the bond forming won’t break at the first tug.
I shift, sitting up and sliding behind him. He tenses up again when I drape my arms around his neck, but I ignore it, pressing my naked body against his back. “I’m guessing you didn’t have that.”
He shakes his head.
I think about assuring him he doesn’t have to reveal his secrets, but maybe that’s wrong. Maybe he needs me to show him I’m invested in him back.
And maybe I do that by being open and vulnerable first.
I relax against him, settling my head on the curve of his strong, broad shoulders. “The first boy to disappoint me was in kindergarten. I wanted to marry him, so I challenged him to an arm-wrestling match, somehow thinking my strength would impress him. It didn’t. All his friends laughed that he’d been beaten by a girl. He cried and never talked to me again.”
He tilts his head, rubbing his cheek against my hair. “He was weak.”
“In fairness, he was six.” I let my fingers dance across his collarbone. “When I had a mad crush on Adian from my intramural co-ed softball league, I begged Ryder to help me practice so I’d be good. Adian was all for it until we played against each other, and not only did I strike him out every time he was at bat, but I also hit a grand slam off him to win the game. That night, he sat next to Emma Nowak at the Dairy Queen instead of me.”
The muscles along his spine ease. He picks up one of my hands and presses it to his lips. “He sounds like an idiot.”
I laugh. “The summer after eighth grade, I got my braces off, my period, boobs, and morphed from awkward tween to…well… It was an improvement. My first party as a freshman, the captain of the football team hard-core flirted with me, and I thought, finally, someone older and mature.”
“Let me guess, not mature.”
“Not even a little bit. That’s when I discovered there were different requirements for girlfriends. He liked that guys envied him but hated me for making them want me. It was always my fault. My skirt was too short. Or my top too low. If I was nice, I was flirting. You get the point. But I was a dumb kid, so I stayed with him through almost all of high school. We broke up when he met and married a nice, wholesome girl in college who didn’t give men lustful thoughts.”
“So, an insecure idiot.”
I smile, pressing my lips to his neck. “I met Owen in one of my prelaw classes my junior year. I said no, but he was relentless in his pursuit, and eventually, I caved. The details don’t matter, but the second I became his girlfriend, he changed. Everything he said he loved about me, he ended up hating. I was too bold. Too challenging. We broke up when I got a better score on the LSAT and landed the dream school that rejected him. After that, I decided men and relationships weren’t worth it. I couldn’t give them what they wanted, so I stopped giving them anything at all. And that worked so well, I started to believe it.”
He kisses the top of my head. “You have terrible taste in men.”
“Then I walked into that bar and met you.”
He stills, shifting a little. “Oh yeah?”
