“It’s early, but I’d like to get dinner out of the way before it gets too dark. You okay with that?” His brows lift in question before he kneels and begins pulling supplies out of his pack.
“Oh, I brought enough food for myself. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“Let me see what you have,” he demands without looking up.
I narrow my eyes, enjoying this height advantage as I cross my arms and glare down at him.
He sighs. “Willow, would you please show me what you brought for dinner, so we can assess what we’re working with?”
“That’s better. But in my defense, I only planned to have two dinners out here, including the one at the canteen. So take those judgey pants off right now, sir.”
It’s his turn to narrow his gaze.
“Yes, I heard it,” I concede, rolling my eyes. “Let me rephrase: don’t putonany judgey pants.”
“You forgot the sir that time.”
“You need to earn it back.” I pat him on the shoulder and proceed to spread out my little tarp to lay out all of my remaining food. Turns out there isn’t as much left as I thought there was.
“I may have eaten my anxiety the past two days,” I admit, chewing on my lip as I inventory my meager offering, which consists of one beef stick, two protein bars, and a melted pack of peanut butter.
My throat begins to ache as another wave of shame floods me.
Think of something funny, Willow.
I can fix this, make light of my slip-up. I’m good at that.
Diversion is my speciality.
Come on, think!
Jack stands, eyebrows drawn together as his gaze bounces between me and the proof of my ineptitude on the ground. My foot begins tapping involuntarily, and I resume biting at my top lip—anything to avoid the quiver of the bottom one.
I force out a laugh, but it sounds gurgled and blubbery, failing to bring with it the quick-witted response that normally comes so naturally to me.
And I suspect the adrenaline dump from the interaction with Brandon is finally catching up with me.
“I would have starved,” I squeak out, because unfortunately,I’m not one of those girls who can cry and talk at the same time. Not to mention, I’m still grinning like a maniac at the ridiculous leftovers that were supposed to sustain me for the next twenty-four hours. But faking a smile helps me pretend there’s still a chance something witty and self-deprecating might spring to mind. But everything I’ve been working to stuff down over the past two days is beginning to spew over, like the volatile splatters of a volcano before it erupts.
My shoulders shake, and my chin trembles, and then I’m ugly crying while still clinging to a smile. Jack panics as if someone has just shoved a live grenade into his hands, his eyebrows rising higher than the canyon walls.
“You wouldn’t have starved, Lo. Gone a little hungry, maybe, but you’re smart. You would’ve figured it out.” He inches closer like he’s approaching a feral animal.
“Nope.” I shake my head, sniffling and wiping the tears away. “Everyone was right. I’m not cut out for this. I’ve failed. Again.”
Jack lifts a hand to gently wipe away my tears, but I continue, feeling like a fraud.
“Do you know the one time I actually won something, it was just alie? That stupid first-place trophy has mocked me and haunted me for years! I wasn’t even trying to win the stupid ski competition that my parents basically forced me to enter, only to survive it, and I accidentally won because I took a detour. I was so terrified by the end of it that I never even put on a pair of skis again. How dumb is that?”
“Look at me.” Jack cups my shoulders, turning me to him before tipping my chin up, but I just stare at his chest.
“Nobody knows that I didn’treallyfinish first in that race. They were so happy, too, which is the real kicker.” I sniff again, scowling at the sky as I continue. “Why are there so many people here?And the helicopters!”
“There are a lot of helicopters,” he agrees calmly.
“A freakish number of helicopters! They’re so loud, and I needed quiet. If it weren’t for you, I’d have run out of here the second I got to that tunnel. I should just leave now so this canyon can gloat. Because Iama quitter.”
“You haven’t failed, and you don’t need to become someone else to learn something from this place. You were thrown into a mess, Willow. Maybe you never believed that you could handle the hard stuff and the ugly parts, but you’re not a quitter. Through every obstacle that’s come at you so far, you chose to carry on. Youcanfinish this hike.”
