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Aurelie could feel herself blushing. Her whole body felt hot. ‘Maybe I thought I would enjoy it,’ she threw back at him. ‘Maybe you were a disappointment.’
‘I have no doubt I was,’ Luke returned, his tone mild. ‘I confess I was a little impatient. I haven’t had sex in quite a while.’
That made two of them. Aurelie swallowed. ‘I don’t know why we’re having this conversation.’
‘Because if we’re going to work together for the next nine days, I need to—’ He stopped suddenly, shook his head. ‘No, that’s not the truth. This isn’t about forging some adequate working relationship.’
Aurelie eyed him uneasily. ‘What is it about, then?’
‘It’s about,’ Luke said quietly, ‘the fact that I can’t stop thinking about you, or wondering how it all went so terribly wrong in the course of a single evening.’
She had no sharp retort or bantering comeback to that. She had no words at all. She made herself smile even though she felt, bizarrely, near tears. ‘You are so honest.’
‘Then be honest back,’ Luke answered. ‘Did you sleep with me to prove a point? To show me I was like all the other men you’ve ever known?’
‘No.’ It came out as no more than a whisper. Lying no longer felt like an option, not in the face of his own hard honesty. ‘It was because I wanted to. Because I didn’t want you to go and I...I liked being with you.’ Her voice came out so low she felt the thrum of it in her chest. She stared down at her lap, wondered why anyone ever chose to be honest. It felt like peeling back your skin.
‘Then what happened?’ Luke asked, and his voice was low too, a gentle growl, a lion’s purr.
She shrugged, her gaze still on her lap. ‘Look, I’ve never enjoyed sex, okay? So don’t worry, it wasn’t an insult to your manhood or something.’ She’d tried for lightness even now, and failed miserably. Luke had fallen silent, and after a few taut moments she risked a glance upwards. He was gazing at her narrowly, a crease between his eyes, as if she was a problem he had to solve.
‘Never?’ he finally said, and he sounded so quiet and sad that Aurelie had to blink hard.
‘I wasn’t abused or raped or something, if you’re thinking along those lines.’
‘But something happened.’ It was a statement, and one she could not deny. Yes, something had happened. Her innocence had been stripped away in the course of a single evening. And she’d allowed it. But since that night she’d never again thought of sex as something to be enjoyed. It was just a tool, and sometimes a weapon, to get what you wanted, or even needed.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ she snapped. ‘I don’t even know why we’re talking about this. Business relationship only, remember?’
‘I remember.’
‘So.’ She straightened, gave him an expectant this-is-your-cue-to-leave look. He ignored it.
‘Aurelie.’ She wished he hadn’t said her name. He said it the way he always said it, deliberately, an affirmation, and it made her ache inside. Stupid, because it was just her name. A name she hated and yet—
When Luke said it, she didn’t feel like Aurelie the pop star. She felt like Aurelie the girl who’d grown up wanting only to be loved.
‘What?’ she demanded, too harshly, because he’d stripped away all her armour and anger was her last defence.
He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry.’
She stared at him wordlessly, dread rolling through her, making her sick. He was letting her down. Of course. The concert hadn’t worked and he didn’t want her Aurelie act, so he was going to tell her to go home. It was over. So much for trying to change.
Four hours ago she’d told herself she wanted that but now she felt the sting of tears. Another failure.
‘Well,’ she forced herself to say, even to smile, ‘we tried, didn’t we? Never mind. I knew it was a long shot.’ And she shrugged as if it were no big deal, even managed a wobbly laugh.
Luke frowned, said nothing for a long, taut moment. ‘What do you think I’m talking about?’ he finally asked.
