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In her more rational moments she convinced herself that it really was better this way, that Luke would be better off with someone more like him. Someone steady and balanced, who didn’t drag a lifetime of emotional baggage behind her.
Yet in the middle of the night when her bed felt far too empty, when she stared at her guitar or piano and couldn’t summon the will to play, when every colour seemed to have been leached from the landscape of her life, she thought differently. She thought she might do anything to get him back, to have the chance to tell him that she loved him and was willing to take that risk, that he didn’t have to earn anything because she’d give it all to him, gladly. So gladly.
Two weeks after she’d returned someone rang her doorbell, which was surprising in itself because she received pretty much zero visitors. She opened it, her heart lurching when she saw the familiar figure standing on her front porch.
‘Luke—’
‘Sorry. I know I must be a disappointment.’
The man in front of her wasn’t Luke, but he looked a lot like him. His eyes and hair were a little lighter, but he had the same tall, powerful frame, the same wry smile.
‘I’m Chase,’ he said, and held out his hand. ‘Chase Bryant.’
‘You like to cook,’ Aurelie said dumbly, because she was so surprised and that was the only thing she could remember. No, there was something else. Chase checked out.
‘I do make a mean curry.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘Luke’s been talking about me, huh?’
‘A little bit.’
‘May I come in?’
He sounded so much like Luke that her eyes stung. Wordlessly Aurelie nodded and led him through the front hall to the kitchen. ‘Do you want something to drink? A coffee or tea?’
‘I’m good. I know you’re wondering why I’m here.’
‘I’m wondering how you even know who I am.’
Chase smiled wryly. ‘That part’s not so hard. The fame thing’s a bitch though, I’m sure.’
She raked a hand through her hair. ‘Oh. Right.’
‘I saw Luke back in New York. He’s not looking so good.’
That probably shouldn’t have lifted her spirits, but it did. ‘No?’
‘No. In fact, he looks like crap and I told him so.’ Chase paused. ‘He told me about you.’
Aurelie stiffened. ‘What exactly did he tell you?’
‘Not much. And not willingly. I’ve gone pretty emo since I’ve become engaged, but Luke’s still working on getting in touch with his feelings.’
She laughed, surprising herself because she hadn’t laughed for so long. Since Luke. ‘So what did he tell you?’
‘That it didn’t work out.’
‘It didn’t.’
‘Yeah, I kind of figured that one out.’ Chase took a step towards her. ‘The thing is,’ he said, and now he sounded serious, ‘I’m in love with this amazing woman, Millie. And I almost completely blew it because I was afraid. You know the whole relationship/love/commitment thing is kind of big.’
‘Yeah.’ She took a deep breath, let it out slowly. ‘It is, isn’t it?’
Chase smiled at her gently. ‘What exactly are you afraid of, Aurelie?’
‘Everything,’ she whispered and blinked hard.
‘Are you afraid Luke will leave you? Hurt you? Because that was my thing. But maybe yours is something else.’
She glanced down. ‘I don’t think he’ll mean to.’
‘But you still think he will?’
She looked up, her eyes filled with tears. ‘I’m just so afraid that I can’t change.’
Chase tilted his head, regarded her quietly. ‘How do you want to change?’
She sniffed. Loudly. ‘I was in a relationship before and when it ended I...I was wrecked. Completely wrecked. I spun out of control and I can’t stand the thought of that happening again, of losing myself again—’
Chase laughed softly, a gentle sound without any malice. ‘Sweetheart, we’re all afraid of that. That’s what happens when you love someone, when you give everything. If Millie ever left me I’d be lost, completely lost.’
