To Micah’s dismay, itwasthe first thing that leaped into his mind—and he was suddenly submerged in wonderings of what Graham’s touch would feel like as he caressed him from head to toe. Without fully realizing it, he squeezed the man’s hand harder, aching to draw it to him, place it on his body…
You’re still holding his hand.
It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, but it felt much longer. Micah broke eye contact as his cheeks warmed and he withdrew his hand. Graham gave him one last discreet squeeze then released him. He motioned for Micah to sit down.
“I apologize,” Graham murmured when he sank back down in the booth. “I wasn’t expecting…” he swallowed and looked down at his cup. “My brother didn’t tell me…”
“It’s all right,” Micah said quietly. “I wasn’t expecting your brother to show up and…be who he was. I was quite shocked.”
Graham nervously twisted his cup on the table as his beautiful eyes drifted back to Micah’s face and held, unwavering. “Would you like something to drink?”
“Coffee…is fine.” Micah didn’t know how his words were coming out at all intelligible when he was quaking so hard inside.
Graham motioned to the waitress and she brought a cup of coffee for Micah. “Would you like anything else?”
“No,” Micah murmured. “Thank you.” The waitress nodded and returned to the counter as Micah added cream and a packet of Splenda to his cup.
Quietly clearing his throat, Graham took a small drink of coffee. “I appreciate you meeting with me.” His hand was a little unsteady as he set his cup down.
Micah nodded, an ache in his heart as he offered, “I’m sorry to hear about your father’s passing. I was…” he swallowed as his throat suddenly tightened. “I was very fond of him.”
“He thought the world of you,” Graham said. “He spoke of you often.”
“I’ll miss him,” Micah whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to see him again before he passed away.” He smiled sadly. “I would have liked that very much.”
Tears dampened Graham’s eyes. “He wanted to come to see you this Christmas. This trip was meant to be the three of us. But then he grew too ill to travel.” Graham lowered his eyes and blinked. “He made me promise to come here and meet you in person.” His throat worked, and he looked up, tears shimmering. “He said you were special…a real live angel from heaven.”
Micah smiled small, deeply touched by Sal’s impression of him. “I wouldn’t call myself an angel,” he said softly. “But I’m touched by your father’s sentiment.”
∞∞∞
I see an angel.
Keeping his heart in check was a difficult feat when it longed to blurt out its love for Micah. Graham had to continually remind himself that he couldn’t pour out his heart upon first meeting Micah. Perhaps Graham had been falling in love with the man over the last few months—but Micah had known nothing of Graham before day, except in the abstract. Saying‘I love you’right away might send Micah running for the hills—and understandably so—regardless of themomentthey had experienced this morning.
Just stay calm and tell him what you came here to tell him.
“I believe my father was a very observant man,” Graham said softly in response to Micah’s statement.
Micah smiled and the light in his eyes glowed a little brighter…melting Graham’s heart a little more.
He cleared his throat and looked at Micah, completely captivated. This entire day felt surreal and he prayed it wasn’t all a dream. “As I said, my father wanted me to come to see you and thank you again for all you did for him. But…” Graham swallowed. “I’m not just here for him…but to thank you for myself as well.” His throat worked, fresh tears forming. “Because of you, my father refused to give up on me. And I…” his vision swam. “…I got to spend these last few months with him. And…” He hung his head and pressed his fingertips to his eyes. “…and because of you, the last words I said to my father was…I love you…and notI hate you.”
Tremors rippled through him and he slid his palm over his eyes, struggling for control of his emotions, but today of all days—they were more than he could handle.
A light touch brushed his hand. Graham trembled harder. He slowly raised his eyes enough to see Micah’s fingertips tentatively resting on the back of his hand. “That haunted him,” Micah whispered with a tremor. “That he’d hurt you so bad it made you hate him.”
Graham raised his head. Micah gazed at him with tears in his eyes. Graham murmured brokenly, “After all this time, I was still so hurt and angry. When he came to us, I…” he shook his head. “I didn’t want anything to do with him. I didn’t want to hear his platitudes. I still…” He glanced out the window as the scenery outside blurred and distorted. “I still felt like that ten-year-old boy…despised by his father because…” He closed his eyes as a warm tear slipped out and ran down his cheek. “…because he liked other boys instead of girls.”
A light shudder ran through Micah’s fingertips and into Graham.
Graham opened his eyes and looked at Micah, the entirety of his heart exposed to the other man. “When my dad first discovered I was gay,” he whispered. “He said things to me that no boy—no child—should ever have to hear from their father. He made me feel like I would never be a realmanand that being gay made melessthan a man…even less of a human being.”
A wall of tears built up in Micah’s eyes and his fingers slowly tightened on Graham’s hand.
“His words,” Graham said thickly, “they took root in me and festered until I felt unworthy and…unlovable. I hated him for the things he said and for how he felt about me, but I stillbelievedit. When I got older, I didn’t know how to trust a man when he said he loved me or told me there was nothing wrong with me.” He sniffed and wiped his damp face. “Because I’d learned a long time ago that therewassomething wrong with me…and I would never be good enough, for anyone.”
Micah swallowed thickly. “Graham…”
