Derek nodded. “You just want me to lose so you can rake in your winnings.”
Garrett laughed. “Well, that, too. But would you really belosingif he showed up? You can’t tell me you’d rather have the cash overhim.”
“No,” Derek whispered. “I wouldn’t. I’d give up a fortune for him.” He groaned. “Fuck, I don’t even knowwhy.We talked for a short while at Pride, then a couple minutes on the phone. Why am I letting him get to me like this? It doesn’t make sense.”
“When you click with someone,” Garrett said, “it takes hold, and you can’t shake it no matter what you do. That’s how it was with Jack.”
“That was different. You and Jack fucked as soon as you met.”
“So? You really thinkthat’swhat bonded us? I mean, it was fucking fantastic sex, but I would’ve fallen for him regardless. When it’s there, it’s there. You can’t deny it.Eitherone of you—just ask Jack. So, if you really did click with Patrick, I promise you, he’s feeling it every bit as much as you.”
Derek sank down on the bed and leaned forward, staring at the floor. “But he hasconvictions.I don’t. A person devoted to God will deny themselves, if they believe that’s what God wants them to do. It doesn’t matter whattheywant.”
“What doyouthink God wants to happen in this situation?”
Derek chuffed. “How the hell should I know?”
“Fuck.” Lucas scooted forward and draped his arm around Derek. “This God-talk is ridiculous. Do you really think he gives a fuck about our insignificantrelationships?He’s got bigger fish to fry in this fucked-up world. If Patrick is hot for you, then he’ll make up an excuse to see you—convictions be damned. Sex will always triumph—because we’re sexual beings.”
Derek wasn’t sure he agreed, not when it came to Patrick. And maybe it was better if itdidn’tapply to Patrick. Sexdidhave power… but often left people with a sense of shame when it coerced them into something they didn’treallywant to do.
. . .
“Huh!” Patrick jolted awake, heart hammering, body on fire. He sucked in gulps of air and slowly sat forward on the bed, face hot and flushed. Hands shaking, he checked the time on his phone.5: 41 p.m.He’d napped for about an hour.
And dreamed.
Patrick lay back down, his chest rising and falling rapidly as his heart continued to pound and the dream wrapped his mind, refusing to recede as dreams often did upon waking.
It was the scene from the video… with Patrick taking the place of the other boy with Derek.
Ecstasysurging through him as Derek pleasured him in all kinds of ways.
Acts he’d imagined too uncomfortable and sinful to ever enjoy—had him crying out in sheer bliss.And begging for more.
Nausea returned even as the pleasurable sensations lingered within.
It was the video that caused the dream. You don’t want to do those things with Derek—or anyone.
Why weren’t his prayers working? They always worked. God came through every time. Why notnow?Why was He leaving Patrick to deal with thisalone—when he needed Him themost?
Patrick picked up his phone again. A few minutes had passed. It was almost six o’clock—when Derek said he’d be at the restaurant. Patrick didn’t move a muscle, inflicted with a deep internal fear that if he moved—he would go to Derek.
You’re not going anywhere, and you know it.
He lay still for what felt like hours. When he checked the time again, barely fifteen minutes had passed.5:58.Derek was there now, waiting for him, he could feel it. Patrick gripped the blankets as if he might bolt off the bed and rush to the restaurant if he didn’t anchor himself.
Why would you—knowing what he is, what he does? How could you want anything to do with that filthy lifestyle?
His ringtone went off, startling him. He was scared to see who was calling. What if it was Derek? But why would it be Derek—he’d left the decision up to Patrick. Unless he was making one last-ditch effort…
He picked up his phone. Brian’s name showed up. The relief that should have rushed through him, was absent. In its place… a sting of disappointment.
Be thankful it’s Brian.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me,” Brian said. “How you feeling? Still sick?”
