To Derek’s own shock—he hesitated.
What’re you waiting for? Fuck him—it’ll make you feel better.
Would it, though? Since meeting Patrick—he’d fucked Lucas, Zachary, the twins, and Bailey. He couldn’t deny that the sex was phenomenal, but in the end… had he really felt any better—emotionally?It felt good in the moment, but it wasn’thelping.
The “fuck” seemed little more than an insignificantBand-Aidon a gaping wound.
Derek let out a slow breath, then kissed Nicky softly on the lips. “Can I get a rain check? I’m… I’m not feeling it right now.”
Nicky squeezed Derek’s crotch. “Someone’s feeling it.”
True—hiscockwas ready to join the party. But even the ache in his groin—which usually determined his next course of action—couldn’t get his heart and mind on board.
“I know, but…” He shook his head and stepped off the stool. “Maybe next time.”
Nicky just stared at him, stunned.
Derek kissed him again. “Trust me, baby, this has nothing to do with you. Any other day and I’d take you so fast your head would spin.”
Nicky stood. “I get it,” he whispered. “The heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes that’s stronger than thedesires of the flesh.”He smiled softly and kissed Derek’s cheek. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
When the young man started to walk away, Derek grasped his hand, drew him back in, and kissed him one last time. “Thanks.”
Nicky smiled, nodded, and returned to the club floor to mingle with the customers.
“Taking off?” Daniel approached from the back of the club.
“Yeah.”
“Don’t stress it,” Daniel said. “Be patient. They say that waiting is the hardest part, and it’s true—trust me, I know—but people need time to figure out what they feel and what they want. I know that the thing with the phone number makes it all seem pretty bleak, but still… give it some time. You never know.”
Derek nodded. “Thanks. I’ll try to be patient.”
“Good man.” Daniel smiled and patted him on the back. “Go in peace.”
“Yeah.”
Daniel laughed low. “You’ll be all right.”
Leaving the club, Derek took little comfort in those words. Daniel meant well and experience alone surely made him wiser than Derek, but at this precise moment in time—nothingfelt like it would be all right.
. . .
Patrick sat cross-legged in the center of the bed, the crinkled paper lying on the blanket before him. He hadn’t moved a muscle for almost twenty minutes—he just sat there, staring at the scrawled phone number as if bymagicit had reappeared to him.
It wasn’t magic. He had written down the number himself. The crumpled paper had inadvertently fallen under the bed. Nothingmysticalabout it at all—the piece of paper had been there this whole time.
You asked God to show you the way… give you a sign…
Was this it—or simple coincidence that he was trying totwistinto a sign?
Why did everything leave room for doubt? Why couldn’t God just talk directly to him and tell him what he needed to know?
He does—you just have to listen.
Patrick thought he knew how to listen to God and understand His will for his life. Lately, he didn’t understandanything.
The paper seemed to hum with a life of its own. Once Patrick laid it on the bed—he hadn’t touched it again, afraid if he did, it would set in motion events he would regret… but couldn’tundo.
