“We were just talking about you,” Bailey said.
“Talking about me?”
“Yeah.” Bailey stepped into the kitchen and grabbed a beer for Gideon. “We decided that it wasyourfault that Derek put off calling Patrick.”
Gideon took the beer. “And that was a bad thing?” He looked at Derek.
“Apparently,” Derek murmured.
“What’s going on?” Gideon took a seat on the sofa.
Derek shrugged. “I called Patrick this morning.”
“You…” Gideon glanced at Bailey who remained standing. “… called Patrick?”
“Yeah.”
“And…”
Derek swallowed as the disappointment and humiliation spilled back over him. “He changed his number. The one he gave me was no longer in service.”
“Oh. Wow.” Gideon twisted the bottle in his hands. “And what time was that?”
Derek sighed. “I don’t know. Sometime this morning.” He sniffed. “So… whatever… I guess he made up his mind about me.”
Gideon set the beer on the coffee table, untouched, and let out a long, slow breath. “You could be right about him making up his mind, but…” He shook his head. “… not the way you think.”
“What’re you talking about?” Derek mumbled. “He ghosted me. It’s over.”
Reaching into his jacket pocket, Gideon withdrew a cell phone—Derek’scell phone.
“Is that my phone?” Derek sat forward. “Why do you have it?”
Gideon looked at the device. “The twins gave it to me…” He raised his eyes to Derek’s face. “… right after Patrick called.”
. . .
Patrick couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t calm his racing heart. When his stomach suddenly pinched and knotted, he rushed into the bathroom and leaned over the toilet… but nothing came up. Tears dripped off his face,plunkinginto the clean toilet water. He took deep breaths and slowly straightened, facing the sink and mirror, flinching at the sight of his red, puffy eyes and flushed, splotchy face.
Nausea maintained its grip on his gut as he turned on the faucet and ran a washcloth beneath the cold water, wrung it out, and pressed it to his fevered face. He rinsed it again and laid the cloth across the back of his neck while he clutched the sink and stared at his reflection. Fresh tears filled his eyes and ran down his cheeks.
Patrick didn’t understand what was happening to him. His whole world was shaking apart around him, and he didn’t knowwhy—only thatDerekwas the source of thequake.
It scared him that this one man whom he barely knew wielded such power over him. What if he weakened fully—and gave in to it? What would happen to him—to his walk withGod?The Lord was his rock and his refuge; he couldn’t navigate this world without Him. Hedidn’t wantto. His relationship with God waseverythingto him.
Patrick returned to the bedroom and lay on the bed next to his cell phone. It didn’t matter if that boy, Mickey, told Derek about the call—Derek couldn’t call him back.
Let Derek go.Sound advice. Derek could be the nicest guy in the world, but he and Patrick existed at opposite ends of the worldly spectrum. He was aporn star, for crying out loud! Even if Patrick were a Side A Christian—he could never date aporn star.
Leave it alone now. You tried to apologize, and he wasn’t there. He’ll know you called and put two and two together. Leave it at that.
Patrick stared blankly at the ceiling as warm tears continued to seep down his temples into his hair. He had to move on, had to get Derek out of his system before he lost sight of everything that mattered.
Talk to Brian—let him help you… instead of pushing him away.
Patrick fumbled for his phone without sitting up, found it, and brought it up into his line of sight. His hands trembled and his mind stalled. For a split second, he thought about calling Derek instead—maybe this time he’d answer. Patrick closed his eyes briefly, then opened them slowly and sent a text to Brian, asking him to come over.
He dropped the phone on the bed and shoved the heels of his palms into his wet eyes, sobs shuddering through him.
Please, God…
Nothing else formed.
He didn’t know what to ask of God.
He didn’t know what hewanted.
Patrick draped an arm across his eyes and choked on a sob.
Don’t you?
