“Affirming churches in Chicago,” Gideon explained. “You can contact each one to see if Patrick is a member of the congregation. It may take a little longer, but it’s another lead if the other falls through.”
Derek sighed. “What if he doesn’t want to be found? By me.”
Gideon stood and walked over to him. “After four days of silence, he called you. He was emotional, in tears.” He gripped Derek’s shoulder. “Somethingpowerfulis going on inside that young man. He’s still struggling, but he’s alsoreachingoutto you. I know what he’s going through and it’s a difficult, confusing journey. Changing his number was likely an attempt to cut you out of his life. And it could have worked—if he’d really wanted it to. But clearly, he isn’t ready to let you go.”
Returning to the sofa, Derek sat down before his legs gave out. “I’m fuckingshaking,” he whispered. “What the hell’s wrong with me.”
“Nothing.” Gideon smiled. “All these reactions you’re having to Patrick—it’s a sign that something veryrealis happening inside your heart. Don’t be afraid of it.”
Derek rested his head in his hands. “I feel like I’m having a fucking nervous breakdown.”
Bailey chuckled as he searched the web on his phone. “Sounds like love to me.” He started humming a tune, murmuring song lyrics. “You feel like a fever is coming on, got your whole body feeling weak.” He glanced at Derek and grinned. “But you still dance around and hum the same old song, sounds like love to me.”
. . .
Doubts began to surface as Patrick waited for Brian. When he’d sent the text, he had been ready—even desperate—to confide in Brian. But now...
Patrick missed their open and honest relationship and didn’t understand how they had lost it so suddenly. It wasn’t Brian’s fault—that much he knew. His best friend hadn’t gone through any changes over the last few days—Patrickhad.
He was in the kitchen when Brian arrived, and grabbed a couple of cans of Pepsi from the fridge.
“Are you okay?” Brian took a seat at the table and opened his soda.
“Yeah.” Patrick sat across from him. “I just wanted to apologize for my attitude earlier. You’re always there for me, always have my back, and I… I acted like a jerk.” He shook his head. “Because of some random guy I had no business thinking about in the first place. I don’t know what came over me, but I’m sorry for having attitude with you.”
Brian smiled. “It’s okay. We all get distracted now and then.” He chewed his lower lip. “So, you’ve put this Derek guy out of your mind for good?”
“Yeah,” Patrick whispered as he tried to forget he’d just called Derek earlier that morning. But it had been a mistake, a slip-up that God had corrected by not allowing Derek to be there to answer the call. He cleared his throat and changed the subject. “The school I checked out, it’s big, with twenty-five to thirty classrooms, a gymnasium that holds up to three hundred people. Tons of lockers for the kids to store personal items. A library. Cafeteria. Many of the rooms get a lot of natural light. I mean, it’s going to need a bunch of repairs. Some of the ceilings will need to be ripped out because of water damage and such. Plumbing and electrical is in pretty bad shape, too.”
“Sounds like a real gem.”
Patrick laughed. “Yeah, well, it’s been on the market long enough that we can probably negotiate the price down without too much problem.”
“We need to research some donors,” Brian said. “Maybe schedule an in-person meeting. It’s easier to appeal to theirgenerous naturewhen we speak to them directly. You definitely need to be there.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re adorable. People respond to adorable.”
“Whatever.” Patrick rolled his eyes and laughed. “I’m notadorable.”
“You absolutely are—everyone says so.”
Derek thought so.Patrick flinched and rejected the thought. His heart retained a slightly quickened beat from his call earlier and just the tiniest thought of Derek threatened to send it into overdrive. Had he lied when he said he’d put Derek out of his mind for good? Hewantedto mean it… didn’t he? If so, why hadn’t he told Brian about the phone call?
He realized Brian was staring at him. “Sorry, I…” He laughed uneasily. “I kind of spaced out for a second.”
His friend’s face remained neutral. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
Just tell him the whole truth. Stop hiding things from him.
Patrick sighed. “Maybe not so much.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I…” Patrick fidgeted and averted his eyes from Brian’s stare. “I’ve been thinking about Derek a lot more than I’ve admitted to you. I don’twantto think about him, but it’s like I can’t get him out of my mind. I don’t know why it’s such a battle to forget about him.”
Brian looked down at his soda can, twisting it slowly on the table. “Have you talked to him since Saturday night?”
