Leaving the log, Patrick walked a few feet away and stopped, his back to Derek. He hugged himself as his body trembled. There was onlytruthin Derek’s eyes, his words. He was ready to risk everything—begin a whole newlife—for Patrick.
What are you willing to do for him? What will you sacrifice for love?
Derek was willing to do itall—it was right there in his eyes—but love didn’t work that way. Maybe Patrick had never been “in love” before, but he knew plenty about it. TheGod of lovehad taught him everything he needed to know…
Greater love hath no man than that he lay down his life for his friends…
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son…
Love is patient, love is kind… love never fails.
His chin trembled.
There is no fear in love—but perfect love casts out fear… for fear has torment.
What was he willing to do for Derek… forlove?
Cast out fear.
. . .
Derek sat in tense silence, watching Patrick. He believed Patrick was experiencing all the same feelings as him, but their situations were not the same. Patrick had been subjected to teachings and beliefs that chained him down—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He wanted to break those chains. His own words—I don’t know what my terms are anymore—attested to that. But Derek couldn’t push him in any one direction; Patrick had to choose for himself.
It scared Derek that, ultimately, he might not choose him. Now that he’d experienced these emotions and feelings for another human being… he didn’t know what he would do with them if Patrick walked away. He’d witnessed the agonizing pain Jack and Garrett had gone through. Derek was terrified of suffering the same with Patrick. Their hearts had barely survived. His may not.
He cleared his throat, his tension tightening when Patrick walked back to the fallen log and sat down… a little closer than before. A hopeful sign—or random occurrence?
Patrick slowly wiped tears from his eyes. He didn’t look at Derek but kept his eyes directed at the ground. He swallowed a couple of times, then whispered, “Hold my hand.”
What did he say?Derek frowned, uncertain he heard him right. “What…?”
Patrick sniffed and continued to stare at the forest floor. “Hold my hand.”
Derek dragged his tongue across his lower lip, his heart going crazy. Under other circumstances, he would’ve found this hilarious—so fucking nervous just to hold a boy’s hand. But this was no ordinary boy. Thisboywas hisfuture…and he was asking Derek to take hold of him.
His hand flexed a few times before he reached for him. His fingertips sizzled and tingled as they brushed against Patrick’s skin. At the moment of contact, Patrick tentatively turned his hand over, allowing Derek’s palm to slide across his own. Their fingers threaded… binding them together.
Theexcitementof this simple act blew Derek away. He’d lived his entire life wheretouchingwas taken for granted. Meeting a stranger, he didn’t hesitate to touch them, kiss them,fuckthem. Touch possessed no meaning other than a means to an end—sex.
Sitting here in the middle of the woods, holding hands with a Christian boy… who would’ve thought it could be more fulfilling than all the sex in his past?
Patrick looked down at their clasped hands, then up to Derek’s face. “You don’t have to wait forever.” His soft-spoken words quaked, and he gripped Derek’s hand more tightly. “Just a little while… if that’s okay.”
If that’s okay?Derek had to plant his feet firm against the ground to keep from falling off the log. “Take all the time you need.” He gently squeezed his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”
