Nina deserved answers, but I didn’t have as many as she assumed I did.
Nina deserved softness. She’d had a rough start, lived her life with gaping holes in her biologic history, worked her ass off to take care of her grandmother while earning her degree.
Nina was the kind of woman who handled problems with a smile. Sure, her smile was often fake, but the average person didn’t care enough to see past it.
I do.
She was the type of woman I admired, the kind who didn’t let life keep her down. When life threw a problem at Nina, she put her head down and got to work—unlike my ex.
Too bad she can’t solve this problem with hard work.
But I could. I could enlist every trusted resource I had, lean more on John and SSI, and use every skill the Navy and the CIA taught me to solve this case and protect her.
Nina deserved a hero who could sweep her off her feet, take her on romantic dates, and carry some of her burden.
I’m not him.
My attraction to her didn’t eliminate my hardened exterior, or heal the wounds left by my ex-wife, or erase the twelve years separating us.
Twelve might not seem like a lot between two adults, but she also worked for my aunt and wasthereforeoff limits.
What would John and Mary say if they could read my mind? I could tell they’d taken Nina under the family umbrella, even if Nina couldn’t. My aunt and uncle did little things behind the scenes, things she wouldn’t necessarily notice, to help and support her.
Like creating a full-time assistant manager position at Grannie’s, claiming Mary wanted more free time to watch her grandchildren.
And John refusing to accept payment for SSI’s time. When I’d tried arguing, he told me they don’t charge family. Nina wouldn’t believe me, but he hadn’t meant just me.
Hell, if it were just me, he’d likely charge me for all the hassle I’d caused.
Or for constantly insulting his team.
I’d seen the look in her eyes when I said I’d cover SSI’s expenses; it was a mix of gratitude and disbelief, with a splash of rebellion. I’d put money on Nina trying to pay John or repay me. Just like she’d offered to pay to clean my shirt.
While I contemplated all this in my head, Nina succumbed to the exhaustion, probably feeling alone and afraid.
All because I couldn’t take my head out of my ass, be a decent human, and offer her the comfort she needed. Comfort I wanted to give, but shouldn’t.
She deserves so much better than me.
Nina’s soft snores filled the car. Cute.What would it be like to hold her and fall asleep to the soft, rhythmic sound of her snoring?Best not to think about it, since it can never happen.
In her driveway, I let her sleep while I texted Frank.
It’s Winchester. I’m dropping off Nina.
Thanks.
All quiet?
Yes, sir.
I’m walking Nina to her door.
Copy that. Want back up?
Overwatch is fine.
I didn’t need him getting out of the car and alerting people to his presence.
