I want what they have. I want someone who looks at me like I’m his entire world—the Matt looks at Madi. How all the SSI guys looked at their wives.
I wanted what they all had—loving, protective, supportive partners to share their lives with.
I shook my head. No sense throwing myself a pity party. I had plenty of time to find the love of my life. A quick glance at my phone revealed no messages waiting for me.
I let the disappointment wash over me, but refused to let it linger.
Dirk wasn’t the love of my life. A smart girl, a more confident girl, wouldn’t be waiting for him to text. She’d delete his name from her contacts and forget all about him.
Embarrassed that I wanted him to want me back, I dropped my phone into my purse and walked out.
Maybe I’d get lucky, and John would hire a young, single guy who’d fall head over heels in love with me when he came to Grannie’s during his ‘new guy gets the coffee’ hazing ritual.
Like Jack did with Meg. Like Doug did with Beth.
What are you thinking?
No guy who had his life together would fall for a barista working two jobs and caring for a sick grandmother.
“Hey, Nina, you taking off?” Mary asked, interrupting my inner dialogue.
“Yeah, I have to check on my grandmother.” It wasn’t a total lie.
“I hope Austin didn’t scare you away. He’s a good guy, despite his rough exterior.”
“No, but I think I chased him away by ruining his clothes.”
“He’ll be fine. I’m sure he has a closet full of grey shirts.”
Her smile was infectious. “If you talk to him, can you tell him I’d like to pay for the cleaning bill?”
“I can, but I doubt I’ll see him anytime soon. The last time was at Jamie’s wedding, almost a year ago.”
Against my wishes, I wondered what he did that kept him away from home so often.
“Okay, thanks.” I paused. “Want me to come back later, or come in early to clean up?”
“Nah, I have an army of guys I can put to work.” Mary laughed. She was lucky that she had wonderful kids who’d do anything for her.
They’re lucky to have such a great mom.
I shouldn’t complain. Bobby and Jodie were great parents, and I’d loved them. My real complaint was that I’d lost them too soon. Now it was just my adoptive grandmother and me, and Nana Sue wouldn’t be around much longer.
Then I’ll truly be alone.Fucking cancer.
“Okay, see you in the morning.”
I said bye to those I passed on my way to the exit.
The June humidity was a harsh reality when I stepped onto the sidewalk.
I’d just crossed the street when I had a sinking feeling in my gut.
I’m being watched.
Chapter 6
Austin
