Did they love me? If they were so happy, why’d they give me away?
And why is there no record?
For the first time in my life, it occurred to me that July fifth might not be my birthday.Does Austin know my birth date?
Did the adoption agency pick a date at random? Did they use age markers to make a best guess, like they do with stray cats?
Tears filled my eyes and slow-rolled down my cheeks.
Who am I?
Why are Steel and his mean friend asking me questions about my parents? What do they know? How do they know?
Will my life ever be the same?
I had a sinking feeling that the answer was no.But will it get better or worse?
“Are you feeling okay?” My grandmother asked as we walked to my car.
“Yeah, why?”
“You don’t seem like yourself.”
That was a loaded statement if ever I’d heard one. How do I tell her I no longer feel like myself? That I don’t know who I am anymore.
That a blast from the past steamrolled into my life, and now my world was upside down.
If I hadn’t run into Steel, would I still be just Nina Suzzette Novak, a twenty-six-year-old college student and assistant manager at Grannie’s?
Was he at the party because he was looking for me?
No, that didn’t make sense. Austin was John and Mary’s nephew, and he hadn’t acted weird at the party.
“Nina?”
“Sorry, Nana.”
I folded her walker and shoved it into the back seat. By the time I slid behind the wheel, I had a smile on my face. And thanks to counting my blessings and focusing on my grandmother, I had love in my heart.
Nana didn’t deserve the pain that hearing about the chaos running amuck in my mind would cause.
She loved me and would want to comfort me, but it was my turn to be here for her.
After I backed out of the driveway, Nana asked, “Something’s obviously eating at you. Talking might help.”
Maybe, but I doubted it. Even if it would, I wouldn’t stress her out by bringing it up on the drive to see her doctor.
Stage four cancer was robbing her of her life. Because of her age and pre-existing thyroid issues, her doctors didn’t recommend chemotherapy. Sadly, the tyrosine kinase inhibitors weren’t effective, and the side effects were wrecking havoc on her system, destroying her quality of life for what little time she had left.
“Maybe after your appointment,” I said, forcing a smile, knowing she’d take a nap afterwards, like she always did.
If I were lucky, she’d forget all about my worries by the time we sat down for dinner.
Chapter 20
Austin
“Anything?”
