“What is it?” He asks me, pulling away from me.
“I’ve been thinking.”
“About?” I hesitate because I don’t want to admit to him about what I’ve been thinking about. “Marcella.” He demands, in that voice that causes every part of me to turn to mush yet quiver simultaneously.
“Ugh, fine.” I groan out. “I’ve been doing some research on trauma.” He stares at me. He has been on my case recently about going to talk to someone.
“And what did you find?”
“That people process their traumas differently.”
“Yeah, I know that.” He laughs. His head drops back down as he nibbles on my neck again.
“Some people even use kinks and fantasies.” I feel a smirk spreading on his lips as he continues to trail kisses down my neck.
“Oh, yeah—” he whispers into my neck as his teeth are still nibbling me. Quickly, he stops talking, cutting himself off as he sits up and looks at me. I just grimace at him strictly on his expression. I can tell that he has figured out what I am talking about. “No.”
“Axe.” He pushes himself off of me before he steps back.
“No.”
“Axe, just hear me—” he cuts me off.
“Marcella.” He shouts as he looks at me. “I will not…” he trails, not able to make his mouth force the word out.
“What?” I shout back at him sitting up on the bed. “You won’t what? Rape me?” I laugh. “Yeah, that’s the fucking point.”
“What?”
“Beforehand,” I groan out as I reach up, rubbing my face and looking away from him, slightly embarrassed. “It’s kind of always piqued my interest. And I know that sounds really fucked up now because of everything.” I look away from him before he walks over. Sitting down next to me, he turns my face to look at him.
“Keep talking. If you can’t even talk about it, then it probably shouldn’t even be a possibility.”
“A possibility?”
“El, I will listen to anything you want to do. We will talk about it. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen, but we will try to figure out what we are both comfortable with.” I nod my head before he urges me to keep talking, but I can’t. I don’t know why. I want to. More than anything, but my head doubts me. I know he can sense it. When his eyes darken, he leans into me. “What do you want, Ella?” His body pushes me to the bed. “Are you going to answer me?” He growls at me as his hand comes up and roughly cups my breast. I want to answer him, but my mouth dries. I’m nervous. “I see... you just want me to use you like the little fuck doll you are?” I see the mischievous darkness in his eyes that normally isn’t there. The cocky, carefree attitude behind his eyes. I see, this is Carter… This is the high school football player who, let’s be honest, if he and I would have been in high school together he wouldn’t have even paid me an ounce of attention because he wouldn’t have even noticed me. Axe is who he is now after what happened. Still cocky, just a little toned down, a lot broken.
The darkness leaves his eyes for a second until he tilts my head up, looking at me concerned. “We’re taking this whole thing slow. Pick a word.”
“What?”
“A safe word.”
“You’ve done all this before.”
“Now is not the time to have this conversation, Babydoll.” I just glare at him until he shakes his head. His cock is pressing into me and I kind of instantly regret asking questions. “Fine, I’ve done a lot of fucked up things.” He smirks. “Most of which I’m not proud of. I haven’t done as much as you’re insinuating, but I’ve done a little.”
I hesitate maybe too long before his lips fall back down to my neck, trailing kisses back up it. “It’s okay, baby. Think about it. For now, just know that I will not push you too much until you do, and until we talk much more about this. But if for whatever reasons you’re uncomfortable, if you say any word that makes little sense or I feel as if you don’t like anything, I’m stopping.” Feeling a safety wash over me, I smile as I move my arms around him, holding him to me. He pulls back a little more before he looks me in the eye, serious again for a moment. “And if, for whatever reason, you look at me any differently, we’re cutting this off immediately. All of it.” Nodding my head before he leans into me, his mouth finding mine. Feeling his arms gripping around me before he lifts me off of the bed and holding me up. Then I’m sailing through the air. Bouncing off the bed, I giggle as I look up at him and he cuts his eyes at me. “Do not move.” He orders me and I can feel my pussy throb just from his demanding voice.
He moves over to the clothing we discarded when we walked into the room. Leaning over, he picks up my bra off of the ground and I look at him questioningly. “What are you—” cutting me off as he holds a finger up to his mouth.
“Shh.” He tells me as he kneels on the bed and moves up, his legs on either side of me as he cages in me. “Fuck dolls don’t talk.” He growls in my ear as he reaches my face. I can feel every inch of his body as he moves against me, his mouth finding its way to my neck as he bites down. Reaching up, I run my hands down his body until I grab for his cock. His mouth leaves my neck as he grabs my wrists and lifts them above my head with one of his hands. “Fuck dolls don’t touch, either.” He growls at me once more, looking down at me, and his teeth fall back down to my neck. “You still sure this is what you want?” He asks before his tongue licks up my neck, causing a shiver to flow through my body. Slowly I nod my head, because something about him in this demeanor makes me want him even more than I thought I could. He chuckles into my ear before he pushes himself up once more. He slides up further, his knees on either side of my torso. I can’t pay attention to what he’s doing as I stare at his cock hovering above my face. He moves above me, but I don’t even care to look to see what he’s doing. Then I feel the material wrapping around my wrists and I can’t move them. “Ella, you better stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” I innocently ask him.
“Like you’re starving.” He laughs as he lets go of the bra, but my wrists remain slightly elevated.
“What if I am.” A groan comes out of him as he looks up at the ceiling, as if he needs to gather his composure, but I can still see the slight smirk when he looks back down at me.
