“Yeah,” I mutter, still with my eyes cut on her.
“I know that this doesn’t mean you and I are good. I know you have so many more things to be mad at me about.” She whispers over to me before sighing.
“Somebody’s sleepy.” Ash jokes with Jag as he walks in with my son… my son.
“Am not.” Jag rubs his eyes and I see Ella’s face light up. Her entire being changes at the sight of Jag and a part of my closed off heart softens.
“Aw, bug.” Smile still in place on her face as she walks over and picks him up. His arms stretch out as he yawns and wraps them around her neck. Then he gently lays his head down on her shoulder. “Let’s go snuggle for a bit.” She whispers to him, and I have to look away to keep from letting the image plague at me, but I can’t help but catch his sleepy eyes open as they look right at me.
I hear the door upstairs close, and I can finally exhale.
“So, uh, welcome to the club. Meetings are the first Thursday of every month. Bring snacks.” He jokes and I just shake my head at him, laughing along. “Serious, though, he seems like a good kid.” He tells me, looking over to me and I can see the understanding in his eyes.
“Yeah,” I don’t know what else to say because I just met him. I just shake my head as I lean it back on the back of the chair. Staring at the ceiling.
I can hear Ash grow slightly uneasy before he talks again. “I, uh,” he then blows out an uncomfortable breath because Ash doesn’t talk about emotions. “I’m sorry, bro.” He mutters before I look over at him.
“What?”
“The entire drive down from Boise I just kept thinking about when everything came out and how I acted. Thinking back to the boys and… fuck. I’m sorry for whatever part I played in that.”
“Brother, it is not your fault.” I laugh out, looking at him, and he just shrugs.
“I just know that if Khan would have freaked out on me, like that, back in the day. I would have freaked out.” He just shrugs. “So, I can only imagine how…”
“Ash, stop.” He looks up at me, nodding his head. “What Care said before is true. Sure, did you say some things that were problematic for the situations, absolutely, but ultimately, I should have chosen my words better. I should have not made her feel like she wasn’t important. Fuck, I should have fought for her.” And we both straighten up as we hear footsteps on the stairs.
“Do you mind if I run over to dad’s while he’s asleep?” She asks Ash, hesitating before she turns and looks at me.
“Yeah, we’ve got him.” Ash answers for me as I just glance over at him as he nods his head at me, encouraging me to give her the okay as well.
“Yeah,” I nod to her as she smiles, looking away quickly.
Inhaling deeply, she stops and hesitates before she laughs out, “I just want to warn him before he gets here and…” she trails, and I realize she didn’t tell anyone about Jagger. She glances back over at me and sighs. “If he gets weird when he wakes up and I’m not here…”
Shaking her head, she walks towards the door and then out of it quickly.
“How’s she getting over there?”
“The truck.” He nods outside.
“She can use my Jeep while she’s here. I’ll bring it over.” Ash sends me a questionable look as I just laugh and shake my head. “I mean, she’s apparently the mother of my child.” I just shake my head again. Just hearing the sentence out loud is fucking weird, before I laugh. “And there is a pretty good possibility that he was conceived in that Jeep.” Shrugging my shoulders. “Or I guess possibly on the bike.” Ash grimaces.
“I hate you so much right now.” He pauses before he looks at me seriously for a second. “Like while the bike is moving?” I can’t help but laugh, as he shakes his head looking away from me. “Instantly regret asking.” He mutters.
“Yeah, Red.” Ash talks into the phone as he sits at the table, and I hear Jag moving back down the stairs. “Just get enough for everyone. Just in case. You know the second that anyone smells food, they will be here. I swear some of those motherfuckers can smell from the club.”
“Axe is a weird name.” He looks at me, causing me to laugh out as he tries to climb onto the couch next to me. Reaching over, I help him the rest of the way up.
“So is Jag.” I tease him.
“Well,” he looks at me and I fucking swear he carries himself like a grown man, “my full name is Jagger. Jag, it’s just what people call me.” He shrugs and I swear I’ve seen myself do that exact motion before.
“Axe is just a nickname, as well.” I tell him, and he looks at me curiously. “It’s what people call me.” I clarify for him. “I got it when I was in the military and it just kind of stuck. My last name is Axelrod…”
“What’s your first name?” He asks.
“Carter.”
