Fuck his entire club.
Fuck people thinking that they can do whatever the fuck they want to me with no goddamn consequences.
Fuck feeling like it’s all my fault.
Fuck hating myself.
That fucking shit ends right now.
I right myself, slowly lifting my head. I think that I can hear Ro behind me asking me if I’m okay, but I don’t answer. Instead, I just stand, wiping at my mouth, I reach over and grab a knife off of the wall. Spinning around I see Ro glaring at Rabbi again, I’m assuming that he’s just waiting for the right moment. Neither of them are paying me any attention.
Crossing the distance quickly, I see the Marauders tattoo across his back, slashing the blade above it as soon as I’m close enough I hear him scream out in shock.
“You fucking cunt.” Rabbi shouts.
Standing onto my toes I laugh as I whisper into his ear. “What’s wrong?” I condescendingly say, glancing up, and seeing Ro looking at me in sheer shock, but I can see the pride underneath the look. “I would have thought a man who’s so tough so yourself wouldn’t think that’s fucking painful.” I say, before I move the blade as slowly and precise as possible down at the end of the name. Rabbi screams out in pain. Looking over at Ro who nods to me before he steps back and leans against the wall next to the door. Rabbi’s back arches as I turn the knife, the blood first trickles out of the cut before it starts dripping down, the vertical line obviously producing a quicker, thicker stream of blood as it stains his boxers and drips down to the floor.
I stop, not being able to help from laughing as I look passed him to Ro and nod my head. “I understand the drain now.” He smiles at me.
“Yeah, just hose it down with some bleach-water and it’s like nothing happened.”
“That’s really smart.” I say to him as Rabbi withers next to me.
“I wish, I could take credit for it.” He shrugs. “Saw it when I was helping The Syn with something.”
“Yeah, Oz was always seemed pretty prepared for shit.” I shrug, cut down the last side of the tattoo and then step around and looking at Rabbi. “Even if what you’re saying is true. You’re not the first…”
I hear Ro laugh from behind me. “And it’s not like any of it was her choice. So, you want to know how I feel about it…?” he trails before he grips my elbow and moves me around to his back. I watch as he looks closely, pressing the blade of the knife into the corner of the cutout. Sticking his finger in until I hear a noise, which almost sounds like rustling, or slightly worn-down Velcro, I’m not exactly sure how to describe it, as Ro peels the flesh off of his back. Then I can’t hear it at all as Rabbi screams so loud that it echoes through the room.
I see Ro saying something and I step into him to hear what he’s shouting and can still barely hear him over Rabbi’s screaming. “There’s a layer.” He points to Rabbi’s back. “Of fascia, it connects the skin to the muscle, but tears really easily.” I watch as he easily pulls the skin further and Rabbis shouts again.
Nodding my head, I move around to the front of Rabbi. He continues to scream out in pain, and I wish I had some fucking ear plugs, because the vibration of my ear drum alone is almost too much. Sighing, I look at the second tattoo on him, the one right above his heart, and I start to cut the lines around that one as well. It’s much smaller than the one on his back, so it’s only seconds before I start to pull the skin away. I’m not sure when he passes out, but when he does it goes quiet. Ro looks over him to me and smiles.
“You’re really not upset?” I ask him, finally able to question it.
“That’s not the right question.” He says before he looks back at what he’s doing. “I’m more than upset, but none of that is at you.” I hear the worn-out Velcro noise start again. “Just when I thought I couldn’t have any more of a reason to fucking hate them. They prove me wrong, again.”
“Why?” I ask him, and when I finally pull the skin on the chest free, I look up at him looking back to him, holding a much larger piece of skin. “If you didn’t agree with their rules, why did you join in the first place?”
He steps around Rabbi’s body, and I can see his blood covered hands, matching my own. “I think we’re both very aware of the things that one can do when they’re heartbroken and looking for somewhere to belong.” Then he laughs again. “Ironically, I think we both did nearly the exact same thing looking for a sense of belonging.”
“Walking into that clubhouse.”
“Exactly.” In that moment, Rabbi screams out next to us is grief. The only acknowledgment that he is given is Ro reaching over quickly and swiping the blade against his throat. “We both walked intothatclubhouse for the same reason.”
The blood spurting doesn’t stop our moment though. It lands on my face and starts to trickle down, I can see the droplets sliding down his face as well, but he steps into me, the knife clatters to the cement floor and he cups my cheek. “You never have to worry about finding that again.” I feel the smile pulling on my lips.
“Isn’t it too soon for that?”
“I’m not saying that this is going to work out. But you’ll be a part of my life for the rest of my life. At the very least a friend, I hope that it’s more than that, but at the very least…”
Chapter Twenty
RO
The blood streaking her face as she continues to stare up at me, a smile teasing her lips, only makes her eyes stand out more.
“I hope it’s more, as well.” She whispers back to me, and I can’t help it. I close the distance and bring my lips down to hers. I have to put my feelings in check as I feel her reach up, wrapping her arms around my neck, and she kisses me back. My chest aches as the whirl of emotions come to me. I don’t know how to process them or even what to fucking call them.
