“The first time I, um… stayed with Zane. I woke up, and he was watching something on his computer. He was watching the security footage of the night they died.”
“Oh, my god.”
“It was bad. Caroline was shot and Ash rushed over to her.”
“I was so sad when I heard they died, but when I found out, they were together. I knew that’s what they would want.”
“That’s what Zane said.”
“How did he react to watching that?”
“Um, well, it was rough. He was sad, but also I think it was also relieving for him to know that Ash died shortly after Caroline, after they consoled one another about it. It was morbidly beautiful. And heartbreaking. We both cried. I didn’t know them and I cried. And then we had sex, so I’m not really sure what that says about us.”
She laughs. “I think it says that both of you handle grief the same. How’d the two of you meet?”
“I was on the club grounds. I had gotten lost. And he threatened to shoot me.”
She laughs again. “Maybe it was fate.”
“What?”
“All I know is that if we get a dying wish, theirs would have been for their kids to be happy. Maybe bring you into his life.”
I nod my head as I don’t want to think about all of that, and I sigh. “I’m gonna go pack some stuff.”
“Okay. I’ll be here.”
Moving around the back of the house, I look around. “Fuck.” I mumble as I think about the alarm on the doors. It will notify Darren and then I have 20 minutes, tops, before he’s here. Moving over to the bedroom, I try to push each window up, and for the first time, I’m pissed off that I didn’t accidentally leave a window unlocked.
Moving over to the spare room, attempting to move open the windows. “Shit.”
The last room, the nursery. I hesitate outside of the window on the side of the house and I shake my head. Reaching up, the window moves. “Of course.” I had just painted the room yesterday. “Come on Tatum, you can do this.” I sigh, pushing the window the rest of the way up. Reaching up, I grab a hold of the window frame and pull myself inside. My body screams at me to stop, but I can’t… once I get out of here, then I can relax and grieve. I just need to keep my head in the game at the current moment. The room mocks me as I look up. The light green walls. The partially assembled crib in the corner. He didn’t even bother to clean the blood off of the floor from when I started bleeding.
“Focus.” I tell myself as I move out of the room and down the hallway, as quietly as I can.
I grab two suitcases and begin pulling the clothes out of the closet and the drawers, shoving in as much as possible. Filling the first bag before I move it over to the nursery, dropping it out of the window, rushing back to the bedroom again, I fill up the second suitcase, listening as best as I can for a car door, or anything.
Once I fill it, I carry it over to the window, dropping it next to the other, and stopping in the room. Looking around the room, grabbing the baby book where all the ultrasounds are stuck inside, and hold it to my chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t leave sooner.” I whisper, stifling a sob as I clutch onto the book.
The pinching on my fingers from where my rings press against the book reminds me I still have them on. So I look down at my left hand, at the diamond on my finger as well as the wedding band. Keeping the book pressed to my chest with my biceps and elbow, I use my right hand to slip them off, walking them over, and dropping them in the pool of my own fucking blood. Seems fucking cynical enough. Looking down at it, I shake my head, “Fuck you.” I shake my head and then walk back over to the window, climbing back out of the window, sliding it shut, and pushing both suitcases to the car. Lynette gets out of the driver’s seat and helps me lift the bags into the trunk.
“It’ll be okay.” She whispers as she squeezes my hand. I hold the baby book on my lap as I stare down at it. Leaning my head against the window, I watch as we drive through the city. Feeling that it’s appropriate for the sky to be crying the tears I should be.
I’m surprised when we pull up to the gate. Lynette leans out of the window and punches a button.
I’m not sure if I should expect someone to come through a speaker or what.
“Come on.” Lynette mutters before she looks around and then reaches down, picking up her phone and pressing on it twice. “Hey… yeah, I know it’s been a while.” She pauses. “Are you at the clubhouse?” Another pause. “Yeah, it’s me.” She pauses again. “Um… yeah.” Then she hangs up. The gate slowly opens and we slide in through it before we pull up to the front of the clubhouse and park. I get out of the car, sighing deeply.
“Tate.” I hear Ella call out and I look over, pressing my lips into a fine line. “Well, now it makes sense why Darren’s been clocking them for the last hour.”
“He doesn’t know yet.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I just got discharged.”
“You just got what?”
