“You knew Zane was taking care of Drew, and you can’t hold what you did in the moment of grief against yourself. We all handle grief differently.”
He nods his head, looking over at me. “How’s that going for you?”
“Grief?”
He nods his head.
“I hate myself for what happened.” I whisper, looking away from him in shame. “I know it’s my fault.”
“You can’t blame yourself.”
“How can I not? If I would have never met Zane, then he wouldn’t be in jail right now on a fucking murder charge?”
“Wait?” Zeke looks over at me, surprised. “You’re talking about Z being arrested.”
“Yeah, what are you talking about?”
“Um…” He trails again, as if he’s afraid to even mention it.
“Oh, the baby?”
He nods his head.
“When you’re in an impossible situation, you do the best you can with what you have. I was trying to bide my time, wait until I could leave Darren. I was trying to plan my exit or give him a reason to leave. I was trying to do so without Zane getting caught in the crosshairs.” I sigh, looking back out the window. “The only thing I regret is forcing myself into that predicament. I should have trusted Zane when he tried to give me choices.” I pick at my nails for a moment before I finish. “I wished desperately that it was his.”
He moves around, reaching into his pocket and handing me a folded paper. “I found this in his pockets when I was going to steal some of his clothes.”
Opening it, I gasp before a mixture of a sob and a laugh comes out. I don’t need to look over to tell that he’s staring at me, confused.
“He kept this.” I sob/laugh again. “He showed up for this appointment. I was sure someone was going to call us out, but I didn’t care at that moment. I didn’t want to be alone for it, and then there he was. I never understood why he was so accepting of everything that was going on.
“He’d ever tell you about our mom?”
“A little.”
“Her dad died when she was young, and her mom wasn’t around.” I nod my head. “Growing up, our house was always the place everyone went because she treated everyone like they were family. Our parents instilled in us that family isn’t necessarily blood. It’s great when it is. But family is somewhere you know you’re safe, something that you build.”
I just look at him, not knowing what to say before I turn, looking out the window, realizing just how stupid I was for not letting Zane in earlier.
I’m angry as I’m being walked down the hall towards the visiting area. I told my brother no, but he fucking showed up with her anyway, and I can’t tell her no as she’s waiting here.
I just didn’t want her to see me like this. I know that’s fucking pathetic.
However, as I see her through the glass, it draws a smile out of me… okay, maybe her being here isn’t so bad.
Almost as if she can feel my presence, her eyes come up as soon as I look at her, her teeth scrap against her bottom lip to keep the smile from spreading.
My focus stays on her as I’m moved through the door before it’s secured behind me. Walking me over to the table, the guard then reaches over, unlocking the cuffs.
Tatum jolts up, wrapping her arms around me for a moment and I don’t want to let her go, but I know it’s only going to take a couple of moments before we’re getting yelled at.
Forcing myself away from her, she sighs, and it kills me to see her like this, keeping a front up so I don’t see her hurting.
A fantasy of the ways I could torture Darren for causing her even more pain than he already has flashes through my head.
“I’m so fucking sorry.” I whisper, looking down at her, and she shakes her head.
“No, I should be sorry.”
