“Until you realized you were in love with him?”
“Kind of.” Her voice falters as she says it and flops back onto her back. “More like since the night we were so fucked up and said I love you.”
“Both of you?” I shouldn’t sound surprised, but I am.
“Yeah, he’s been really distant since then.”
“When was this?”
“Last month.”
I’m not sure what else to say. Moving across the room, I wrap her up in a hug just as she did me, and it makes both of us laugh. Before we both lie back, just staring at the ceiling.
“Do I know him?”
“Huh?”
“The — uh — your ex.”
I can appreciate her trying to spare my feelings. I don’t know how else to answer but to laugh at the situation.
“Oh, I do.” She smirks. “Someone in the club?”
I still can’t answer her, feeling like if I open my mouth to say anything I’ll just shout his name, so I just shake my head.
“Spyder? Rock? Linc?”
“I’m not that stupid.”
“Jag?”
“Eli…” I trail off not wanting to look over at her, but take note how she immediately stops talking and can see out of my peripherals as she slowly turn her head, staring at me, eyes wider than I’ve ever seen them before.
“Stop looking at me like that.” I plead with her.
“I honestly don’t know what to say.” She laughs before adding. “I thought you weren’t stupid?”
“Liv!”I laugh out her name.
“I mean, I don’t know who’s dumber, you or him…” she trails.
It’s almost comical when we both answer in unison. “Him.”
“How?” she laughs again. “I thought you 2 hated each other?”
“I mean, hate can turn into amazing sex.”
It makes her laugh again as she shakes her head in disbelief.
“After I got out of the hospital, he brought my phone. I came onto him, and after convincing him I was okay enough to, we hooked up. It was supposed to be a onetime thing, but…”
“Hate can lead to amazing sex.”
“Yes!”I exclaim, feeling some sort of relief from being able to talk to someone about everything. “I can’t explain it. I couldn’t stop thinking about him after that. How he was with me. This terrible thing, which had the potential to be so much worse. He didn’t have pity. He wasn’t rough, but he also wasn’t gentle. He was…” I trail off, not really sure how to explain it.
“He was exactly what you needed in that moment.”
“Yeah,” I nod. “It’s like he knew what to do without me having to tell him. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so after a few months, I went out of my way to purposefully run into him. And still then it was supposed to be one of those. Let me fuck you out of my system.”
