“Sorry.” Holding my hands up for a moment as I sit back down.
“What were these two boxes?”
“Well… I had my ‘life’.” I air-quote the word life. “Or the appearance of a life. I had my job and the bullshit I made people believe. I put on the facade of a person who would be on the police force. Who believed in all of that shit?”
“That’s not who you are?”
Slowly, I just shake my head. “Who I really am.” Looking over at her. “It was nice cause I haven’t been able to show that to anyone in so long, but I was able to be him again. The night I found you on my porch. I told you I went and found him after you passed out.” She nods her head. “I felt more like myself than I had in so long. I thought I’d almost forgotten who I was. You made me remember him.”
“Why is the real you in a separate box?”
“Because no one on the force could know that Eli.”
“Then why did you join?” she pauses. “Fuck.” She mumbles as she looks up at me again. Piecing it together herself. “That’s why you have the tattoo?”
All I can do is nod my head to her.
“I need to hear you say it.”
“I was never really a cop. I mean, I never considered myself one.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t join to be a cop.” I pause, hoping she’ll give me another question to answer, but she doesn’t. She just continues to sit, staring at me and waiting. “Ash came up with the plan.”
“Dad?”
“You had to know that’s what it was.” I tell her, causing her to nod again.
“I was thinking in the shower, and I feel like I remember a time when I saw you at the clubhouse before they died.”
“Yeah. I was there a few times.” I nod my head. “I went to talk to him a couple of days after you yelled at me at the party.”
She giggles a little.
“I wanted to talk to him about prospecting.”
“But he wasn’t letting anyone in; he was forcing people out.”
“Yeah,” I nod. “Jeff had just retired, and he thought that a better idea would be for me to join the force. He knew he was gonna die soon. He knew Z would want to step into the club. And if I were on the force, I could watch over him. After all of you. Maybe stay one step ahead of whoever was after the club.”
“So you did all of this because my dad told you to?”
“Yes, no… kind of. I dunno.” I pause again. “He said the tattoo would help people believe it when things came out.” Shruggingmy shoulders as I continue talking before I’m able to catch what I’m saying. “He said that mixed with the…”
Realizing what I’m saying, I stop myself, my eyes widening as I look up at her.
“Mixed with what?”
“Can we come back to that?”
Tilting her head, I can see she’s growing frustrated with me before I nod my head, stand up, and walk towards the door.
“I thought you wanted to explain. Where are you going?”
“It’s easier if I just show you.” I admit to her. “It’s down in my saddlebag.”
I don’t wait for her to answer me. I just walk down the steps, into the parking lot, and grab it out of the side bag.
