“I need to hear you say it.”
I pause for a second before nodding my head. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“I’d rather not have this conversation here.”
“Told you — no cameras, it’s just us. Plus, where else are we supposed to have this conversation?”
Nodding my head, I sigh. I guess she’s right.
“Is that why the club’s paying your legal fees?”
“They’re not.”
“Oh, right… I forgot; a nonprofit is paying them.” She laughs, shaking her head. “You think I don’t know it’s a shell for the club?”
“What do you want from me?” I toss my hands to the side, already exhausted from trying to evade her questions.
“The truth.”
“I told you, not here.” I pause, shaking my head again. “You asked me not to plead, so get me out of here, and I’ll tell you everything.”
“I never asked you not to.”
“Right.” I laugh out, shaking my head this time. “Granted, you never said the words, but that’s only because Z was there, and we both know that’s exactly what you were asking.”
Exasperated, she stands up, shoving everything from in front of her into her bag. “They dropped all charges last night; they’re just waiting on the paperwork to process.” She glances behind me. “I’m assuming that’s what they’re here for.” She nods her head before standing up and heading to the door behind her.
“Drew, wait.” I call after her, stilling her for a moment before she turns around and looks at me.
Lifting her hand to the door, she tells the officers to give us another minute.
“No, Eli. I get it; you owe me no explanation… about anything.” She pauses, trying to hold back the shaking in her voice. “Don’t explain how you’re suddenly best friends with my brothers again after years. Don’t explain why you ‘allegedly’ tampered with evidence that got you fired and arrested. Don’t explain why it looks pretty apparent that you’re on the club’s payroll. And definitely don’t fucking explain why I woke up alone.”
“I —” I attempt some sort of bullshit apology before stopping, the look on her face telling me that there’s no point.
Not going back to the house after I left her was the hardestgoddamn thing I’ve ever had to do.
“Drew, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, Eli, really, it is.” She nods her head this time, but not at me, at the guards, telling them we’re done in here. “It was a year ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
I want to tell her I love her; I want to explain what happened that morning. Or what’s been going on for the last 10 years. What I’ve been keeping from her this entire time. But I can’t. Not here, and absolutely not while these guards are making their way in.
“Drew!”
I don’t need to look to know who’s shouting my name over the music. Eli’s voice lives inside me. None of what has happened in the last year has made any sense, and I just needed to see him one last time this morning. I needed to put everything with him [not] to bed before he was around again.
And possibly because Sherri forced me.
Sirens was closed for some time, maybe because my parents were gunned down out front and for a while it’s all anyone could think of, plus it took a few years for the bloodstains to fade from the concrete. The club kept it, occasionally came around, and within the last few months, we’ve rehabbed it and reopening was a couple of weeks ago.
He calls my name a second time. Forcing my attention, I roll my eyes as they lock with his.
“What?”
“Can we talk?”
