“What!?”she shouts, slamming on the brakes as we come up to the stop sign.
Slowly she pulls the car out as I start again. “I mean, technically they’re not really friends anymore… at least I don’t think so…”
“Why not?”
“Well…” I trail again, looking out the window. “Eli’s a cop now.”
“What?” she shouts again. “You fucked a cop?”
“It’s not the first time.” I admit to her as I casually look over at her and her mouth hangs open.
“Are you gonna tell Z?”
“God, no.” I laugh out this time. “Eli’s convinced he’ll kill him.”
“How did it happen?”
“After the accident.” I pause, shaking my head. “He brought my phone back to me after they found it at the scene.”
She doesn’t say anything, which is fucking rare for Low.
“And I kissed him.”
“Why did you?”
“I don’t know.” I pause, shaking my head. “It’s not like it’s the first time we’d kissed.”
“Wait, you kissed him before?” She’s getting more confused by the second.
I can’t help but laugh as shake my head slightly. “Yeah, but I don’t even think he remembers.”
“How?” she mutters to herself, but I don’t really pay it any attention.
“I’ve thought this over a lot, and the only thing I can come up with is that there was just something comfortable about him. He made me feel safe. And in that moment, I just desperately needed that safety to consume me.”
“Does that feeling have to do with him being a cop?”
I can’t help but laugh out loud. “God, no. It was because it’s Eli.” I clear my throat. “Maybe cause my dad always trusted him.” I chuckle to myself as I think about something else my dad said.
“What?”
“One time my dad asked if there was anything going on between us.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s a long story. But I told him I hated Eli.”
“Why do I feel like he said something revolutionary?”
“Not at the time, but looking back…” I trail off until she nudges me to finish. “He told me it was easier to hate someone when you can’t love them.”
“Do you think he was onto something?”
I don’t answer her because I don’t know anymore. The words he said filter in through my head, making me smile as I look down.
“Anyway, I went to McGuire’s last night to thank him for not arresting Z, and ended up breaking into his house and waiting naked in his bed for 20 minutes until he got home.”
“You broke into his house.”
