The silence feels like punishment.
She continues looking at me, just like I look at her, and none of us looks away.
“I shouldn’t have said it, huh?” she whispers.
My chest constricts. “No, that’s not–” I stop myself, running a hand through my hair. Every word I try to form falls apart in my mouth. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
She nods slowly, but I can see the way her jaw clenches, like she’s trying not to cry again. “You don’t have to say anything you don’t mean, Luca. I know timing sucks. You don’t owe me anything.”
Her voice cracks on the last word, and I swear I feel something tear inside me.
I owe her the world for making her cry.
I owe her every universe out there for walking out when she needed me yesterday.
I owe her my whole life.
“Don’t,” I say, stepping forward before I can stop myself. “Don’t say that.”
She laughs, but it isn’t funny. It’s quiet and sharp and broken.
“It’s true, though, isn’t it? You moved on. You healed. And here I am, still broken and useless.”
My heart cracks when she says things like that.
“I didn’t move on.” My voice comes out low. “I just learned how to hide it better.”
Her breath catches.
I look down, fists curling at my sides. “You think I didn’t try to stop loving you? I did. Every day. I tried to hate you. I told myself you didn’t feel the same, that I needed to grow up, to get over it. And I almost did.”
“Almost,” she echoes, barely audible.
“Almost,” I repeat, a bitter laugh slipping out. “Until you said those words.”
She takes a shaky step toward me. “Then why does it feel like you’re still holding back?”
Because I am.
Because I don’t trust myself not to destroy us again.
Because loving her always comes with a cost I can’t afford to pay twice.
“Because I’m scared,” I say, finally. “Because the first time, I lost you without even realizing how much it would hurt. And I don’t think I’d survive it again.”
Her lip trembles. “And what if you don’t have to lose me this time?”
I step closer, every inch between us burning. “Tilly…”
Her name breaks in my mouth. My hand twitches, wanting to reach for her, but I stop myself again.
I don’t trust that touch. It could ruin everything.
“I don’t deserve this,” I whisper. “You deserve someone who didn’t break you. Someone who doesn’t make you question everything.”
She shakes her head, tears spilling over. “But I don’t want someone else, Luca. I never did.”
I close my eyes. “You should.”
