And if someone ever tries to bandage it, they will realise just how mushy and unpleasant it is.
But who are we kidding? No one will ever want to come near that barely beating organ.
That’s all it is, an organ.
Something that keeps you living, yet only pumps bad blood.
Because your heart isn’t normal, Tilly.
It’s not healthy. Nothing about you is. Not a single thing is perfect.
Your skin is flawed, your heart is flawed, your mind is flawed, and all of that combined makes you a walking flaw.
So how could anyone look at you and see anything other than a flaw?
When all you are is flaws, flaws, flaws.
Chapter 12
Tilly
“I still can’t believe you never told me,” Zara says quietly,
The hurt is unmistakable.
“I know. I’m so sorry.” The words fall out of me like stones. “I was having such a hard time with all of this, I didn’t even realise I hadn’t told you. I-”
I feel terrible.
I feel like the worst person ever.
I feel like utter disappointment.
“I’m sorry, Zara,” is all I manage to stutter.
Zara is one of my best friends. She’s always been my safe place.
She’s the one person I don’t doubt would ever love me less.
Yet, I haven’t even thought to tell her.
No matter how busy I have been, no matter how messed up Luca has me feeling, like my world is falling off its axis, there is no excuse.
The worst part is that I wasn’t even the one who told her; it was Yana.
“I feel so terrible, Zara.” My voice cracks a little as I look at her earnestly.
“I forgive you, Tilly, I really do. Just don’t do it again. I hate being left out,especiallywhen it’s something as important as this.”
“Yeah, I know,” I say, the sadness sitting heavy in my chest.
She hugs me, and I can only hope she actually forgives me.
“Okay,” Yana cuts in, pointing at me. “But can we focus on you for a second? Because there’snoway you’re still acting like you don’t feel anything.”
I look at Zara, and she shakes her head. “Don’t look at me like I’m going to save you. I want to know.”
I sigh. “Nope, still feeling-less.” I lay my head down on Zara’s pillow and look up.
