Eventually, after a good hour, we all collapsed on the couch, changed, and washed.
Zara and Yana end up sharing a blanket, and Luca and I share another one.
I start giggling.
We are so weird.
The kitchen is still a mess, but the living room is mostly clean, and we have the leftover ice cream in bowls on the table.
Luca’s a rm rests casually along the back of the couch, not close enough to touch my back, but close enough that I can feel the warmth radiating off it.
I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder.
The movie keeps playing, but I can barely keep my eyes open.
Yana falls asleep straight away.
Zara is making sarcastic commentary.
I glare at Luca when he steals my spoon.
This is a blessing.
Look at that, Tilly is actually smiling in the night.
As if that’s allowed.
Last time I checked, you don’t deserve to be happy. Maybe when the sun is shining, you can experience some kind of joy, but you know that’s not how it works in the night.
And you belong in the darkness, which makes it obvious you don’t deserve smiles.
All you deserve is a slap in the face and a reminder of just how brown your blood is.
You know how bright Yana and Zara are?
Yeah, that’s because their blood doesn’t make them look like mud.
Their blood actually flows perfectly in circles around their body.
Your blood, let me remind you, flows in squares and certainly doesn’t look like theirs.
Thing is, your mom is gorgeous, so it can’t be genes.
That’s a shame, you can’t blame the ugliness on your parents.
You can’t blame your imperfections on other people, because you are the only reason for them.
Remember?
No?
That’s fine, the night always comes. It’s funny how much you like sunsets, when they mark the last hour before the darkness swallows you.
You are lucky the sun favors you enough to give you the pinks and yellows and oranges every evening.
But with blessings always come curses.
Chapter 15
