I knew this would happen.
My brain screamed this at me every day.
I feel so stupid, which is adding to my pain. I feel like I betrayed myself.
I opened my own heart and broke the cage I carefully built. Now I have nothing left, because my heart is still in Luca’s room.
Shattered to no repair.
Yana shakes her head firmly. “This will sound horrible, Tilly. But you’re robbing himandyourself without telling him. ”
Zara’s voice is gentler. “The worst thing that can happen is that he says he’s over you. But then you’ll know. You’ll stop torturing yourself with what-ifs.”
I laugh bitterly through my tears. “Heisover me. I broke him. Twice. Why would he even want to look at me again?”
I don’t want to look at myself, let alone anyone else.
“Stop,” Yana says, sharper this time. “Let him decide that. Don’t take the ending away from him before it even starts.”
I stare down at my lap, my nails digging into the sleeve of my hoodie. “You guys make it sound easy.”
“It’s not,” Zara says softly. “But you’ll hate yourself if you don’t try.”
I nod, but I don’t believe her.
I can’t.
They hold me like they are trying to glue the pieces of me back together, and eventually the crying faded to quiet sniffles.
Then, somehow, the conversation drifts into nothingness.
Yana starts talking about a new hair dye she wants to try, and Zara teases her about accidentally turning it purple again.
I laugh once.
It hurts.
For a few minutes, I pretend life is still normal. That everything isn’t crumbling.
But underneath the laughter, the ache waits.
When they finally let me go, I sit there for a while, just breathing.
My fingers are tangled in the hem of my hoodie, my heart pounding too fast for how still I am.
I always swore I would never tell a boy I love him first.
Never chase a guy.
I wanted to be chosen.
I wanted to be the one someone risks everything for.
But here I am—about to do the exact thing I swore I never would. I’m about to tell a boy I love him.
And not just any boy.
The boy who already loved me once. The one I hurt. The one who stopped waiting.
