“Cute,” I tell Monster. “Or menacing? Because of the ax part.” I lead Monster over to the side of the house where there’s a water spigot and a bucket. “We’d better get cleaned up. Looks like we’re having company, and you’re a real mess.”
11
HONEY
After I wash Monster,I decide to bathe in the deep claw-foot tub in the bathroom. My bones need to soak. And yes, Idoeat in the tub. I make a plate of cheese and crackers and close the door to the bathroom, so Monster doesn’t try to sneak a nibble at it while I read.
Because I wasn’t able to retrieve anything from my house, there’s nothing here in this cottage that was Cain’s or Trudi’s. Nothing that was theirs or once held by them. Except my body. Every time I slip off my clothes, I can see the evidence of Trudi. A scar on my lower abdomen from the emergency C- section, the weight I gained in my stomach that—even though I’m thin—never quite vanished to my pre-pregnancy state. The saggier, post-nursing breasts.
Already, everything is rounder. My breasts, my stomach. I’ve tried to work out the math in my head, counting back, trying to remember my last period. It’s been months. Three months? How could I not have realized? How could I have so abysmally lost track of what my body was doing?
While I’m toweling off, there’s a knock at the door. My whole body stiffens until I remember John’s note. I pull my clothes on in a rush and peek out the front window. He’s standing there onthe porch, running his fingers through his hair, a Dot’s Divine bakery box in one hand, and a Greene’s hardware bag strung on his arm. I run to the door and fling it open, my whole body grinning from head to toe.
“I got the wildflowers,” I tell him. “They’re beautiful.”
He nods, his expression unreadable. “I can’t stay. Something’s come up.” He hands me the box and the bag. “I was going to make you supper, Wren. But I need to go visit someone.” Monster pushes out the cracked door.
I wonder if the someone is a woman. My heart squeezes just thinking about it. He’s definitely not working. I cock my head and study him. He’s wearing a button-up shirt, the arms rolled up to show off his forearms. The curls on the nape of his neck are gone and I miss them already, but his beard is neatly trimmed, and he smells scrumptious.
“You got a haircut?”
“Yep.”
“You look cute.”
“I take offense at that.”
I move in closer.
“Are you sniffing me?” he asks.
“Maybe.”
“What’s your assessment?”
“If you’re going on a date, then she has no chance.”
“That good, huh?”
“That good.”
He’s leaning in close, a slow smile forming on his lips. I want to ask him to stay, to not go wherever it is he’s going. He’s so close that I could just pull him a little closer and?—
“See you tomorrow?” he says, his voice hoarse, his eyes on my lips.
“It seems inevitable in such a small town.”
“Looking forward to running into you again. But could you get iced coffee this time?”
I smile. “Maybe you could just watch where you’re going.” He hands me the Dot’s Divine box and turns toward the steps. He stops and is still for a moment before he pivots back toward me, his jaw tight. “Wren?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you like salmon?”
“Huh? Like in general?”
His jaw tightens, and he looks down at his boots. “I was going to make you salmon, roasted broccoli, and sweet potatoes.” He holds up the bag in his hand. “Vitamin A, protein, omega-3 fatty acids, Vitamin D...”
