“What the fuck has happened to you that falling off a ladder isn’t terrifying?” Gia’s question shouldn’t have caught me off guard. I opened the door. The best part about Gia is that her tone is genuinely hurt for me that I’d experience any kind of pain, let alone to that level.
I suddenly realize I have two of the best friends I could ask for, and if I can’t trust them with my past, then who the hell can I trust? “Not to kill the mood or anything, but my past is full of violence I wouldn’t wish on anyone.”
Gia sets her wine glass down on the coffee table and adjusts her perch on the couch so she’s facing me, making it clear I have her full attention. “Do you want to tell us about it? If you’re not ready, that’s totally okay, but we’ll listen if you want to talk.”
I pick at a loose thread on my leggings. “After my grandma died when I was a teen, my dad sold her house, and we moved north to Wyoming. His pattern was to sign on to a ranch, they’d realize he was an alcoholic asshole, fire him, and then we’d move again. I had to get my GED because I was in and out of high school so much that I wasn’t able to graduate. I managed to get a full-ride scholarship to a community college in Wyoming, and found a tiny bedroom in a shared house that I could afford if I worked at night. It allowed me to finally get out from under my dad’s thumb.”
“Damn right, you did.” Gia lifts her glass in cheers.
My lips quirk in a half smile as I take a sip of my drink. This is the hard part of my story. “Unfortunately, my shitty upbringing left me with a skewed idea of what love and relationships should look like. In my sophomore year of college, I met a man. He love-bombed me. He made me believe he was everything I wanted in a guy, and I fell for it hook, line, andsinker. Things were good for the first two years. I graduated and found a job in Wyoming that I loved. He worked in construction, although I’m not sure how often he was actually on a site.
“And then things started to change. When he’d drink, he’d take his frustrations out on me. It wasn’t often, so I told myself it was the alcohol, not him, but then it started happening without the alcohol. By the time I was finally ready to leave him, he’d put me in the hospital with more bruises on my body than skin, and a broken collarbone, arm, and jaw. He’s in prison now, but I moved back here hoping to find myself again.”
“God, Farrah. How awful that must have been for you.” Gwen’s soft voice is full of tears.
I huff out a laugh that lacks humor. “You know the thing I kept thinking about wasn’t the pain. It wasn’t my shitty husband or the choices I made. It was how alone I was in the world. I had no one anymore—no family, no friends, not even a shitty husband.”
“Abusers are good at that, aren’t they? Making it so you have no one to turn to,” Gwen says with a sad smile. Her parents were as awful to her and her sibling as my dad was to me.
“No kidding. I tried to stay in Wyoming for a couple of years after my ex was sentenced, but the memories were too close. It’s why I came back to Pine Creek Falls. This place was familiar. It was home, so I knew I could at least have that comfort even if I didn’t know anyone in town anymore.”
“And then you met me, and I haven’t given you a moment’s peace since,” Gia teases. Her levity is appreciated more than I could tell her.
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” I wink at her. “Okay, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest. Shall we play never have I ever?” For the first time in years, I feel like a weight hasbeen lifted from my shoulders. I made it through telling my story without breaking down into sobs the way I used to in therapy. I can officially look back on my life and see a woman who survived despite every obstacle trying to stop her. It feels really freaking good.
“Oh, god,” Gia groans. “I’m going to be drunker than a skunk.”
“Because you’ve done everything.” Gwen chuckles.
“Totally worth the hangover.” Gia’s grin makes her blue eyes shine. Not for the first time, I vow to live my life the way Gia lives hers. She makes no apologies for who she is. She doesn’t bend herself to fit someone else’s narrative.
I’m slowly getting there.
My friends encourage me to do and say whatever I want. I’ve more than proven to my heart that I can handle anything that comes my way.
Now, I need my brain to believe I can do it.
Chapter Fourteen
Grayson Reed has changed the group name to The Salt and Pepper Shakers.
Grayson
Happy birthday, Knox! I’m doing the cha-cha, you just can’t see it.
Emmett
What’s the plan? The Howling Wolf?
Holt
Or a bonfire out at Mom and Dad’s.
Grayson
What does the birthday boy want?
Knox
