Grumpy Bear
Gate will be open at six thirty.
CHAPTER 6
Knox
“And then Trace stuck his nose in my armpit, and I fell down ’cause I was laughing so hard.” Finn giggles. His grin is a mile wide after our ride this morning. Checking cows with me is one of his favorite things to do. It’s mostly just us riding horses together since I have to keep track of them throughout the week, but every now and then, we’ll find one who’s slipped through the fence.
I grab out some lunch meat from the fridge and set it next to where Finn is sitting on the counter. “He was probably hoping you had another sugar cube in your pocket.”
“He already ated them all!” Finn cries out with a laugh.
I smirk at my son. I never knew I could love someone this fucking much. The moment he was placed in my arms, my whole world tilted on its axis. He changed everything for me. My perspective on what my life would be like flipped in an instant. I’m more grateful for that than I could ever express. No matter what happened after his birth, I’ll never for one second regret having my son. I’d walk through that hell over and over again if it meant I’d get to have him at the end of it.
“Trace is spoiled rotten. He’s going to get fat from all thetreats he sneaks.” I start putting together sandwiches for lunch while Finn watches.
“He’s already fat, Daddy.”
I bark out a laugh. “True.”
Finn and I sit at the table to eat our lunch. He talks nonstop about everything that comes to mind. I love listening to the thoughts in his head. They bounce from outrageous to insightful on a dime.
“The duck family isn’t there anymore. I hope they didn’t get eated by something. We should check on them later. Is Leah coming over today? You said maybe, but do we know for sure yet?”
As Finn asks the question, a text from Grayson pops up on my phone.
Grayson
We can move the bonfire to my house if you really don’t want to host.
As annoying as my three best friends can be, they’re also the people I trust the most. Grayson has always been a bit over the top—our group chat name, for example—but he loves hard. I’ve never once questioned his intentions, though his choices leave me a little puzzled at times. He understands people on a much deeper level than anyone I know. His empathy knows no bounds, and sometimes I worry he’ll be taken advantage of if he isn’t careful. Holt, Emmett, and I do our best to watch out for him, but it’s not always easy when he gets impulsive.
Case in point, he’s offering me an out if I want it. He knows how much I struggle with being around big groups of people. If they all come to my house, there’s no easy way forme to leave. Though, to be fair to my friends, not a single one of them would care. Not even Holt’s brothers would say anything about it. They’d carefully put out the fire and leave my property looking exactly the way it was before.
Nah. It’s fine. Just let me know when you get here.
Grayson
Will do.
“Looks like everyone’s coming over tonight. The guys want to have a bonfire,” I relay to Finn.
His eyes widen. “Really? Please tell me Uncle Emmett is bringing his s’mores stuff.”
The side of my mouth quirks. Emmett became famous when he brought not only graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate, but a whole assortment of candy to add to their s’mores. “He is. It wouldn’t be a bonfire without it.”
“Yes!” Finn fist pumps. “I should go pick out my outfit. Maybe I should wear my polo tonight. Or will it be too cold?” April in the mountains is unpredictable. Layers are a necessity this time of year.
“You should be fine if you stick by the fire. Don’t forget about the smoke though. If you wear a T-shirt, it won’t smell as bad.”
Finn turns his nose up at that. “But those don’t look as nice.”
“Buddy, if Leah doesn’t like you because of the shirt you’re wearing, then I think you might have bigger problems.”
“I guess that’s true. Besides, my rainbow T-shirt is clean, and she likes that one.” He runs off upstairsto his room, presumably to get dressed. We still have several hours before everyone arrives, but that won’t matter to him.
I blow out a deep breath, my thoughts swirling in ways that drive me crazy. I try hard to keep my mind off the shit I can’t change. My anger sits just under the surface most of the time, no matter what I’m thinking about. I don’t need my fucked-up memories around to make it worse, but it’s not always easy to let them go.
