I took her hand in mine and kissed the top. "No, of course not. I got you. I 'm not gonna let him or any other man hurt you," I assured her. "I'm prepared to do what I need to do to protect you, Gianna."
"No." She shook her head quickly. "You have a son. I won't drag y'all into my bullshit. He already lost his mother—" her voice cracked and she looked away quickly. "I'm not going to be the reason he loses his father too," she whispered.
I gently pulled her face back towards me. "That's not going to happen. We're gonna figure this out, babe. In the meantime, just continue to stay with me for now."
Her eyes searched mine anxiously. “Remy…”
“I mean it,” I said firmly. “You're not going back over there right now.”
She exhaled shakily and leaned back against the seat, rubbing her forehead. I could see her trying to process everything at once. Fear. Guilt. Frustration. My heart twisted seeing her like this because I knew she was used to carrying herself. Used to surviving. I knew this situation was eating her alive internally.
“I hate this,” she whispered finally. “I hate feeling scared.”
I reached over rubbing my thumb across her thigh gently. “You're not weak because something got you shook, baby.”
She blew out a sharp breath. “I just…I finally felt like things were coming together.” Her eyes glistened slightly as she stared out the windshield. “I was happy.”
“You still can be babe,” I replied quietly.
“But at what cost?” she shot back softly. “Your peace? Melo’s peace? Y'all's safety?” She shook her head.
I took her hand again, intertwining our fingers. “Listen to me carefully,” I said low. “Whatever this is—we're gonna handle it together. You're not by yourself anymore.”
Gianna swallowed hard before finally nodding once. “Okay.”
I lifted her hand kissing her knuckles softly before putting the car back in drive. “C’mon,” I murmured. “Let’s go get Melo and get home.”
Chapter 37
Eva had me watching some rom-com bullshit.
But I was two cups of bourbon in, so at this point the shit was watching me. Her legs were thrown over my lap as I absentmindedly rubbed up and down them softly. Not because I was feeling particularly intimate, I just knew she needed me. Needed to feel her husband's touch on her skin with all the tension growing between us.
I was just hoping that she wouldn't want some dick later 'cause Monroe had drained me dry.
And with Gianna being gone…
I just…
I was struggling to fulfill that part of my marriage still.
Every day I regretted meeting her. I should've stayed my ass away when I saw her that day in the bar. I knew better. Thesecond our eyes locked, something in me said leave that woman alone. Instead, I walked right over there like a fucking idiot.
I knew in my soul that I was playing with fire; but like a moth to a flame, I went closer anyway. She ruined my fucking lifeandmy libido. Everywhere I looked, I saw Gianna. Heard her laugh and that smart mouth. Saw those big brown eyes and that damn smile.
Witchcraft…yeah…that's what it had to be. That thick, pretty ass bitch was a witch.
Or a succubus. Something. Because this shit wasn't normal
Fuck!
Ireallyfucking missed her. And all the liquor, distractions and sloppy head from Monroe wasn't enough to knock the edge off. I wanted her. Ionlywanted her. I've never wanted something and not been able to get it. This shit wasn't logical.
I didn't know if this was love or lust anymore because the two had blurred together so much, I couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. All I knew was she was gone. And every day she was gone felt wrong. Like something had been ripped out of me.
The fucked up part was that I did love my wife, regardless of what my actions were. Which only made me feel more fucked up because if I loved her...why wasn't it enough?
Why couldn't I let Gianna go?
