"No—youplease don't." I grabbed her other hand pulling her closer to me until our faces where right in each other's. "Don't give up on us because you're scared. Don't run away from me when you know I would chase you. Staystill, Gianna." I stared into her eyes. "Let me love you. Let me give you the life we both deserve. You told me you wouldn't hurt me, so why do you wanna break my heart now when you know what it took for me to love again?"
A broken sob left her. Her body shook hard while tears poured down her face.
Seeing her cry like that was tearing me apart. "Babe…" I whispered softer reaching for her face. "Talk to me? Please. Tell me why you're doing this to us?" I pleaded.
"I can't," she cried.
"Yes,you can," I insisted
She shook her head desperately. "No, Remy you don't understand."
"Then help me understand!" My own emotions finally started rising now. "Because this don't even feel real right now."
Her eyes squeezed shut. "I love you," she whispered painfully. "That's why."
Confusion and hurt slammed through me hard. "What the fuck does that even mean?" I asked hoarsely.
"It means I can't be the reason something happens to you!" She broke. "I can't wake up one day and have to explain to your son why his daddy ain't coming home because of me!"
Silence hit the car hard. My chest ached so bad it physically hurt. I stared at her for a long moment before speaking again quieter this time. "So you'd rather leave me?"
Fresh tears slid down her cheeks. "I'd rather you live."
I leaned back against the seat trying to breathe through the pain building in my chest. She grabbed my face suddenly. Before I could even process it, her lips crashed against mine. Warm, shaking, and wet with tears. I kissed her back desperately, my hands gripping hers like if I held on hard enough, I could stop this from happening.
The salt of her tears mixed between our mouths while she cried softly against me. "I love you," she whispered against my lips. "I love you so much." Then she pulled away.
"No—" I grabbed for her immediately. "Gianna—"
She pushed the door open fast.
"Baby, wait—" I caught her hand before she could get out completely.
She froze for a second, shoulders trembling violently.
"Please," I begged. "Please don't do this."
She looked back at me with tears pouring down her face, heartbreak written all over her beautiful face. "I'm sorry," she whispered. Then she pulled her hand from mine and ran.
"Gianna!" I jumped out the truck. "Baby—please!"
She never stopped. She ran straight into the hotel without looking back once. I stood there frozen watching the doors close behind her.
And that pain…
Fuck.
It hit me all at once. Heavy and sharp. Felt like somebody reached into my chest and ripped my heart out. "FUCK!" I shouted slamming my fist hard enough on my hood to dent it, tears blurring my vision.
I turned away from the entrance dragging both hands over my face trying to get myself together, but I couldn't. Not this time. The pain hit me brutally the same way it did when I watched Kendrix die.
Only this time I was grieving a woman who was still alive.
Chapter 49
Iwas sick.
Physically.
