I grimace, putting down my fork and looking Kate in the eye across the table. “Ourhouse. You keep calling itmyhouse ormykitchen. We’re doing all of this to make itourhome, right?” My chest tightens, and it feels like there’s a ball of knots in my stomach as I patiently wait for her response. The entire reason I brought up remodeling the house was to make it a home for both of us. To help her feel more comfortable. For her to be able to envision a future here with me.
Kate’s smile softens as she reaches across the table and takes my hand, lacing our fingers together. “You’re right. All of this is to make this houseour home. I don’t mean anything by it when I refer to it as ‘your house’; it’s merely a habit I can work to break.” The tension in my chest eases, and the ball of knots starts to slowly unfurl. “I want a life with you, Jake. Please don’t ever doubt that. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
How does she know exactly what to say to put my mind at ease? She’s constantly telling me how often I do that for her, and she has the same effect on me.
“Do you think you might want to eventually move here full-time, or split our time between here and Chicago?” I ask, going straight for the heart of the matter, not letting us avoid the issue any longer. We have to figure this out. There are so many implications tied to whatever decision we make.
Kate leans back in her chair, taking a large sip of wine and pressing the chilled glass to her lips afterward. “Can I want both?”
“Yeah. I wish having it both ways were an option. Hell, I’d live wherever you wanted if my career didn’t require me to be here.”
Neither of us speaks for a couple of minutes, choosing to eat our dinner and contemplating what to say next. How to best approach the situation when there’s no obvious choice.
Kate puts her fork on her plate. “I don’t love the idea of having two separate homes. Trying to remember where I last had my favorite sweater. Buying two of everything, unless I want to pack it with me everywhere we go. I’m already doing some of that on the bus. I can’t imagine adding another location into the mix.”
I nod silently, taking a large gulp of wine and waiting for her to continue. The crease in her forehead tells me there’s more she wants to say, and I want to give her the space to get it all out.
“I know, eventually, living here full-time is the long-term solution. I’m not opposed to doing it. When we have a family…” She blushes, dropping her gaze to the ground.
“Keep going, Kate. I’m happy to talk about having a family with you anytime. You know that’s what I want. I’ll give you all the babies your heart desires.” I grin ear-to-ear, counting down the days until we’re married and actively trying to have our first child. Until then, I’m planning to get inallthe practice I can.
“I know we’ve talked about it a little bit, but I didn’t want to get presumptuous.”
“You’re not. I’ve been pretty clear with my intentions. My long-term plan is to have you as my wife and this house full of as many kids as we want. Happy to get started on either one of those now if you want.”
She shakes her head softly. “Jake! Don’t be crazy.”
“Dead serious. Just waiting for you to be ready, sweetheart,” I reply, locking eyes with her, sending a message that I’m ready to go as soon as she is, because it’s the goddamn truth.
Kate chuckles, taking another swig of her wine before continuing, “Whenever we have kids in the future, I don’t want to shuttle them between two homes. It’ll be hard enough, traveling with you during tour season.”
Talk about taking my breath away. Never thought about having her and our future kids on tour with me. Is this what it feels like to get everything you’ve ever wanted in life? To be blissfully happy? Because I sure as fuck am.
I nod in agreement, unable to mutter any other words as my heart pounds.
“Until then, I’d like to continue to spend as much time in Chicago as possible. And for you to join me when your schedule allows.” Kate takes another bite of her dinner. “I want to hang out with Chelsi and work in-person regularly since I know that will change eventually. I’m not sure what that frequency looks like, but I'd like to do half our time in Chicago and the rest here. At least during the week, when you’re on tour.”
“That seems doable, especially once this album is finished. Until then, Jason pretty much has me chained to Nashville when I’m not on the road.” I take a few more bites of my own dinner, contemplating how to broach the next subject.
Hiring private security is currently a hard line Kate refuses to cross, but we need a better solution. I can’t move into the condo she has with Chelsi, and my previous rental has zero privacy. I take a deep breath, deciding to rip off the bandage and see whatshe thinks. “If we’re going to live in Chicago part-time, we need to find a more suitable housing option. As much as I adore your condo, it’s not set up for the privacy you and I are going to need.”
Kate exhales deeply. “I know. I hate the idea of not living with Chelsi, but I also recognize her life is in chaos because we’re roommates. Moving out is what’s best for both of us. She’s going to hate not living with me. Probably survive solely on charcuterie and wine.”
We both laugh because Kate’s likely right. Chelsi is not known for her cooking. Her kitchen skills are limited to making a kick-ass meat and cheese platter, ordering takeout, and doing the dishes.
“So, we’ll go house hunting in Chicago. Find us a great place to call home when we’re there,” I say, eager for her confirmation.
“Yes,” she replies with the biggest grin. “We’ll have two homes for now and go down to one when it’s time to have kids.”
After taking my phone out of my pocket, I quickly send a message.
“What are you doing?” She cocks her head to one side, confused at why I’m using my phone at the table whenI’mthe one who implemented the “no phones at the table” policy.
“Texting Max to ask him to find us a realtor in Chicago. I’m ready to move forward on building a life with you, Kate. Don’t want to waste a single minute.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
jake
