“Fine,” I retort, crossing my arms and bracing myself for whatever she’s about to throw my way.
She tucks her legs under her, taking one more long drink of wine before staring at me. “You’re spooked. It’s probably a combination of things, but you have that deer-in-the-headlights look on your face, like you did when you ended things with Jake. I supported your decision then because you needed to work on yourself. Whatever bullshit you’re concocting in your head about how things might be doomed between the two of you has got to stop.”
I swallow hard, hating how well she can read my inner thoughts. “I’m not going to run this?—”
“Don’t want to hear it yet. I still have more to say,” Chelsi replies.
I mimic zipping up my lips and throwing away the key. Anxious yet eager to learn what else she believes is going onwith me, wondering if she can unravel the complicated emotions overtaking me that even I don’t quite understand.
“Your first boyfriend-slash-ex-fiancé was a douchebag. Now you’re dating a celebrity and have been thrust into a life you wouldn’t choose for yourself. Everything about that is hard. It’s only remotely impacting me, and I’m stressed about all of it.” Chelsi pauses for a moment to take another sip of wine. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Jake’s thoughtful gift of flowers didn’t immediately make your brain go on high alert, remembering the times when Brian did the same thing. But he’snotBrian. And you’renotthe same woman you were back then, either.”
“I know,” I whisper, reminding myself how much I’ve grown in the last year.
“Now that we’re done talking about the douche canoe and how he should never take up another second of your thoughts, it’s time to fess up about the root problem.”
I bite my lower lip and avert my gaze. “Not sure what you’re talking about.” It’s technically not a lie because I’m worried about countless different things and don’t have a clue which one she might be referring to.
“Uh-huh. Why don’t you admit that being on tour with him isn’t as easy as you’d thought it would be? Or how you’re unsure how your career and his lifestyle will mesh together long-term?” Chelsi’s eyebrows raise unnervingly high, and her nails tap against the wine glass.
Damn it. I love and hate how well she can read me. Makes it nearly impossible for me to hide anything from her.
“Ugh. Fine,” I groan, throwing my head back and shaking it momentarily. “I thought being on the road with Jake would be this big adventure. Traveling to new cities every day, seeing the sights, and spending a ton of time together. And it’s turned out to be nothing but staring at tour buses and identical amphitheaters on repeat.” I drag my teeth over my lower lip,nervous about how this sounds, because what kind of person complains about traveling with their famous boyfriend to a new place every night? Apparently, me.
“It’s hard to envision maintaining my current career and being on the road like this every weekend for the next however many years. I’m beginning to understand why so many other significant others of country musicians don’t have traditional careers.”
Chelsi chuckles, almost like she’s shocked it’s taken me this long to come to that realization. Perhaps I’ve been living in denial.
“Not to mention, it’s hard to have my every movement photographed and filmed nightly. One girl filmed my reactions throughout the concert. I’ve never had so much anxiety watching Jake perform as I did last night. Terrified I might make some odd expression for a minute and end up as a meme on social.”
“Ignore it. Act like they aren’t there and go about your business. You can’t control what people film or what they post,” Chelsi states calmly, like it’s the most obvious answer to my problems.
“That’s easy for you and Jake to say. You both enjoy being the center of attention. I hate it. And now I’m in the center ring three nights a week.”
“I get it. There isn’t much you can do about any of that without skipping out on his shows. At least you get to have mind-blowing sex every night. Doesn’t that make up for being gawked at for a couple of hours?”
I chuckle, my cheeks reddening. “There are definitely benefits to being on the road with Jake. I’m probably just being whiny and need to get over it.”
“You’re having a hard time adjusting to this new lifestyle because you can’t control it. You can’t plan out your life anymore like you’re used to.” She takes a long drink of her wine beforelocking eyes with me again. “And it’s unsettling because you’re questioning whether the future you might want looks different than what you previously had in mind. And that’s okay. Give yourself permission to want something different.”
Talk about hitting the nail on the head. Chelsi’s ability to get to the heart of the matter leaves me in stunned silence.
“Now it’s time for the mini pep talk. You and Jake are fantastic together. He encourages you to be the most authentic version of yourself and never tries to force you into a box to become what and who he wants you to be,” she says with a soft smile, followed by a sigh. “Although it may seem like a new challenge pops up every day, you’re going to weather this storm. There’s no doubt in my mind you’ll end up happily married to Jake. Become one of those adorable old couples who set the bar for what a good marriage is.”
“When did you become so knowledgeable about relationships?” I ask, flabbergasted by how accurately Chelsi understood how I’m feeling and what my heart truly believes.
“It’s like the saying, ‘Those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach.’ I can’t date effectively, but I can give the best fucking advice on how to do it.” She laughs gently, a hint of sadness in her eyes.
As much as she jokes about her spectacularly bad luck in relationships, I know, deep down, she’s looking for the right man who will treat her like the queen she is. One day, she’ll find her Jake. I know he’s out there somewhere.
“So, what are you going to do about the house situation?” Chelsi sinks back further into the couch. “I’m ready for you to buy the first one we saw.”
I roll my eyes at the thought of doing somethingthatspontaneous. Something I wouldneverdo, but Chelsi would.
“Jake and I need to align on a rough timeline for how long we’re planning to stay in Chicago. It doesn’t have to be set instone, but it will help better refine what type of housing we want. Right now, I don’t know whether I should focus on finding a place for the two of us with space for an occasional overnight guest or buying a family home because we may be here the first few years after our kids are born.”
Chelsi’s mouth drops open. “Did you just mention having kids? On your own? Without any prompting? I’d better call him and tell him to lock you down before you get spooked again.”
“I can’t bethatspooked. There are only a handful of things that would be red lines for me when it comes to Jake, and I’m confident I don’t have to worry about him crossing any of them.”
